I sent this to frazz via email, but needed to share it with you guys. This just tickles me to no end.
> DOG DIARY
>
> 7:00 AM - Outside! My favorite thing!
> 8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!
> 9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!
> 9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
> 10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
> 12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
> 1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
> 2:00 PM - Looked out the window and barked! My favorite thing!
> 3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
> 4:00 PM - Chased a bird out of the tree! My favorite thing!
> 5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
> 6:00 PM - Watched my people eat! My favorite thing!
> 6:20 PM - Table scraps! My favorite thing!
> 7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
> 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
> 11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
>
> CAT DIARY
>
> Day 983 of my captivity.
>
> My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
> They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
> hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
>
> Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
> nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The
> only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
> disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
>
> Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
> feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
> clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
> condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
> Bastards!
>
> There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
> placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
> I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
> confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what
> this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
>
> Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
> tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
> this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
>
> I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
> snitches. The dog continues to receive special privileges. He is
> regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He
> is obviously retarded.
_________________
I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.
-George W. Bush, in Rome, July 22, 2001