Sounds like things are getting out of control...I think it would be worth considering getting a paid caregiver to come in during the day no matter what the cost! To save everyone's sanity, I think this would possibly be worth considering to give your Mom some respite. Your Dad sounds like he can be a real handfull for a young, caregiver that is not related to him, never mind his wife.

Sounds like they may want to reconsider giving him some morphine at night too, I know the last time he was not sleeping and getting all agitated it really calmed him down. If your mom is afraid of the morphine there are other antianxiety meds his doctor or the hospice doctor can prescribe.

It may come down to considering having to place him in a nursing home on hospice if things continue to spiral downhill with your Mom and Dad's relationship and if he really is not getting the care he needs at home. The stress of having an elderly cargiver care for her dying and difficult spouse can be so hard. You and Rob may have to make some tough decisions for them if they are no longer able to make good decisions on ttheir own anymore.

If they put all their assets in a trust in your name, Medicare will pay for everything and they can't touch their money...something you may want to look into ASAP.

Oh, I didn't know about that last part! Trust me, they do not have the money for private care. My dad's medical bills over the last 15 years have been huge. He has had bi-pass, open heart, pace maker, among many other issues before the amputations. My mom also had some long hospital stays a few years ago. There is no money , plus they still owe almost $10,000 to the hospital, rehab and Woodfield ortho, out of their pocket. Private care or any good quality nursing home is not really possible. BUT, I would love to check out that last option. I just don't think my mom would go along with putting things in my name only.

That is too bad you don't think your mother could be made to understand that if your Dad continues on in this limbo situation, it is just a matter of time that he is either going to have to go into a nursing home, or hire a paid caregiver to help save her health and sanity as well as yours because the only way to allow it to be paid for totally by Medicaid is to shelter all her and your Dad's remaining assets by having a trust set up in your name or some other family member's name for all of it. Then your Dad would quality for full medicaid benefits in a nursing home and for paid care givers or for a good part of it anyway- from what I understand.

Granted, I am not a social worker, but I see this happen with lots of other families that are working people that have a little saved for retirement, then an illness takes almost all their savings and income, and they are left with tons of medical bills and very few options. While people who have never worked a day in their lives get a free ride at the nursing home of their choice because they are destitute. I recommend you talk to the Hospice team social worker if they have one, and perhaps a lawyer to get more details on how these scenarios work and what input your mom would still have about things after your Dad is gone.

I don't know if after he passes you could transfer everything back into her name again or not. I don't know how independant she is going to be anyway though, considering she does'nt drive, or pay the bills and will probably have to have your continued help with important financial decisions from here on out whether she agrees to a trust or not.

I just hate to see all the money your Dad has worked so hard for to protect your mom get sucked down the tubes and to top it off he is not getting the level of care he needs at the end of his life. Especially when there are other options out there...I truely hope you can talk to someone more knowledgeble than I am about this and get some help sorting all this out.

((((FC)))))

Well, hubby says that is "sheltering" money and it is illegal and would take a long time. So I guess that is out. Hospice says they should be able to come back round the clock on March 1st. Something about taking a break for a week or so and then they can start up again as "a new" case. Also, the supervising Hospice nurse talked to my Dad's doc and he is ordering a lift to help my mom be better able to lift him up. NOW he has it in his head that once they can lift him in the wheelchair he wants us to get one of those ambulance type transport vehicles and take him to his fave neighborhood restaurant for lunch Oxygen tank, catheter and all. Oh my. My mom said she was not going to tell him no. I guess we could ask his doctor what he thinks of this. Life just gets more and more interesting If you could see how fragile this man looks and the thought of transporting him to a restaurant. Oh well, if it all worked out it would sure make him happy!

I did get my Rhianna CD today. I blasted "Shut-Up and Drive" a few times tonight! That took the edge off!

Aerwin, I got the Mauve Infallible Lip Gloss and that is my fave color!!

Sleep good ladies! Love ya!

I hope tomorrow is full of dollie news! That is much more fun than the type of day I had today!

Interesting your husband says this is illegal. A social worker that I work at the hospital with who has about 20 years of experience told me that is what she did for her mother who was in a similar situation as your folks and required nursing home care. I guess if you know how to work the system somehow there must be a way around it. But, I guess the up front way to handle it is just pay off all the medical bills and if they don't have much equity in their condo, and not much money in the bank, eventually their assets will naturally be just about gone and they will qualify for the next level of Medicare coverage that way.

You may want to keep it on the down low with the Hospice folks if you are planning on taking your Dad out and about. It would seem kind of hard to justify round the clock care if he is doing well enough to go out and eat... It sounds like he is getting a second wind though doesn't he?
I'm sure it would be good for him to get out, but the effort it will take you and your mom to get him out may be another story. Just getting him in and out of the car is a major ordeal isn't it?

Yes, heres hoping tomorrow is a better day with lots of dollie news...

Hi!

Hope you had a great day! I was so busy today. Little girls keeping me hopping and I was on the phone with the local Funeral Home. My folks decided not to go with The Veterans Services (after I went over everything with them in 4 phone calls) and go with the local Funeral Home in their town. So I talked to the funeral director. Mom and I are meeting with him on Saturday morning before we go out to lunch. We will be picking out an urn and a keepsake urn along with going over any other details.

Mom called early this morning and said my dad had a rough night. He needed two shots of morphine and a sleeping pill. I swear the "not being able to breath" at night is psychosomatic. The whole time I was with him yesterday he was breathing fine. He always breaths fine during the day. What would change at night? It can't be from lying down because he lays down most of the day. I really think he panics at night or something.

They delivered the lift today for my mom to get my dad up and in the wheelchair. She said it was a lot of work and wore my dad out. I am going to tell him that it is too cold to go out right now, and we will take him out to eat in the spring. I am sure it would not be a good idea for him to attempt going out, but if he is thinking he can do it - I don't want to be the one to take that hope from him.

In other news, the little baby I watch, Skylar (she will be two in April) has to have eye surgery and get glasses Poor little thing. I am watching her tomorrow, just the two of us. I'll give her lots of love. She says "Dolls" whenever she comes into my office! She runs up to them and smiles big and yells "Dolls"! I think I have a little fellow addict in the making here!

TTYL!

I wonder if your Dad has sleep apnea at night or something. He is still on oxygen isn't he? I know some people that have sleep apnea have to wear C-pap at night. Problem is they have to go into a sleep clinic and get a stupid sleep study to get diagnosed. But, maybe if he has enough other symptoms someone can figure it out without that.

That is so cute and funny Skylar gets alll excited about the dolls! She is going to acquire some extra good taste for dolls being around you! That is going to be tough on her having to get eye surgery..was she premature?

Well, Bill made it home to Sweden safe and sound! His new owner is beyond thrilled with him and got him a Prunella! I will bring over pics when she posts them. She will be taking him to his homeland in Berlin this Spring....how cool is that?

Oh how cool for Bill!! Can you believe your doll has become such a world traveler? I can't wait for pix!!

I don't know if Skylar was premature. I just noticed Tuesday that her left eye was wandering while the right eye was looking at me. Her mom took her to an optometrist today and he recommends she see a pediatric opthamologist. He thinks she needs both the surgery and glasses. I will know more soon. Yes, I have all the girls hooked on dolls!

So many Hospice nurses have been with my dad while he was sleeping at night and nobody has said anything about sleep apnea. I will have to check into it!

Now is this gorgeous or what????? This inspires me so much for my girl...

Yes, that is gorgeous! Hey, that necklace would be so easy to make! Some small ribbon and a mini charm!

Skylar is sitting on the bed next to me going "DOLL!" She is too funny. She is eating a morning snack and watching WTTW Kids while I catch up here. She is holding her baby Cabbage Doll. I remember when they were all the rage!

Hope you have a great day!

Talk to you later!

Yes, I am going to try and make a necklace like that! Good idea!

Well, off to work I go! Have a good day with Skylar! She sounds so precious!

Here is the new resin doll Julia by Goodreau - The American BJD company. I so love her! She is $310 nude and bald, but with her face done like this. They come with the lashes too. She is so beautiful!





With wig and dress!


Here is their new elf girl! Also so pretty!




They now have boy resin dolls too! They are OK. I wish they made them in vinyl. I am soooooooooo close to cancelling ALa and getting a Goodreau Vinyl Rumor. I found a site that sells her dressed and with wig (they all come with face-up) for $160 shipped. If I cancel ALa and sell one or two dolls that would pay for her. My hesitation is the vinyl are only 15 inches and cannot wear the clothes or shoes of the other 1/4 BJDs. So I don't know what clothes options would be out there for her. As much as I love Julia I just don't know if I could pay $310, plus wig, plus clothes, plus shipping for one doll I mean she would come to over $400 But, I really do think she is beautiful!

ETA: Holy Crap!! I found a site that would sell me Rumor with the green eyes like I want so badly for her to have! $120 nude. Here is a pic of Rumor with green eyes!



Different wig!



My other choice is Innuendo with blue eyes and you can get her with blue eyes at the site, which is my second choice, and you know how important getting the eye color I want is!



This one is Whisper. You can get her with blue eyes. She is pretty, but I don't know about the teeth

Wow! What a great deal! The Goodreau company makes some really cute clothes for their dolls and some MSD clothes will fit the 15 inch dolls for sure. Also there is a 16" vinyl doll by the name of Ellowyne that should fit the 15 inch Goodreau doll as well, so I think you would have plenty of choices on clothes and shoes are about the same as in the Pullip world...limited selection and not cheap!

My fav Goodreau molds are the Julia and the Rumor for sure. Both are very, very nice. I am really of no use for discouraging you into the BJD world now am I?

Ha! I didn't think you would be I have wanted Rumor since before Xmas. But I really wanted her with the green eyes. I feared being disappointed if she arrived with different eyes. I mean I'm sure she would be really pretty no matter the eye color, but I really want the green eyes. My Rhian and Isis have gorgeous blue eyes and Winda has amazing brown eyes, so I would really like to have the green eyes!

With shipping ALa is $85 so cancelling her goes a long way toward the nude Rumor. I could sell Neora for $50 with a pretty outfit. Maybe sell Didi to cover the wig and an outfit. I hate to cancel ALa - she is probably one of the prettiest Pullips, but I think I just might do this. I will give it some more though.

I will have to check out Ellowyne.

When I Googled Goodreau BJDs and followed all the links, I ended up in a thread at DOA about them. People wanted to talk about them but the Admin decided they didn't qualify for their board. The admin encouraged people to buy them, but that they couldn't be discussed on DOA I would never belong at that board. They are so Doll Snooty!!

I know about the snooty factor. I just don't get it either. I think the Goodreau dolls are just as nice as the Bobobie dolls. But, since they are not "resin" then they can't be there. Totally ridiculous.

Would you try to sell neora and didi on Flickr and Requiem?