MEN

Most of the men I have had any sort of real relationship with were writers. They have their very own ways of being crazy, but I must say, the sounds of a guy typing in a nearby room makes me feel so very comfy.

I think writers would make very interesting men to be with! For me, first and foremost a good sense of humor! A man had to make me laugh to get me interested. My hubby could be a standup comic. Seriously, I cannot believe how much he cracks me up. Also, smart. That is my hubby. I cannot believe how smart he is. Sometimes I don't think there is anything we could ask him that he wouldn't know. I guess that is where my boys got their brains. No, I KNOW that is where my boys got their brains!

I have never had a specific type "looks" wise. I have had crushes on blondes, brunettes and now a redhead!

In my teens I went thru that wonderful stage of liking bad boys. Then I found out they don't make good husbands! Live and learn you know.

Funny, I've never liked "bad boys" to me it was always a euphemism for "loser". I didn't drink, smoke or take drugs - all of which I associated with Bad Boys, so, nope, never ever.

I've liked pretty and not so pretty. Most important thing? MUST stimulate my mind. Nothing takes my attraction away more than a surface-y man or a man who cannot keep up with me mentally. I'm not the smartest person in the room, but I can hold my own. I don't want to be embarrassed every time he opens his mouth.

Like men think of women, there are men I like to look at and men I want a relationship with. I've had people tell me to "settle" and that's just WRONG WRONG WRONG! I don't think you should be so picky that you can never find a man to live up to your idea of perfection, but when people tell me to give men a try I'm not at all attracted to, mentally or physically, my theory is "why waste my time and his"?

My favorite line is "well, at least you can get a free meal out of it". I'll tell you what. I'd go out to a nice dinner with Frazz and pay my own damn way and KNOW I'd have good food and conversation, rather than trying to suffer my way through an awkward dinner with some guy I know isn't right for me just to get a free meal. TOTALLY not worth it.

So, I want the guy to be attractive IN MY EYES (read: 10 years down the road I still want to rip his clothes off). Smart. VERY important. Funny is essential. He cannot take himself too seriously. Oh, one downfall of some funny guys is that they won't laugh at something you say because they have to be the funny one: that's not cool. So, a guy who's secure in himself, but not all cocky, and definitely is into me. A guy who knows what he wants. No wishy washy guys. Fun. Successful in his own right now matter what his profession. Drama junkies need not apply.

The big thing with me is trust. I've got to believe the guy actually has my best interests at heart, and is really doing his best. I am married to a tempermental, difficult man, but we have one thing that is absolutely golden - the trust is absolute. He WILL be there when I need him, and vice versa. Period.

I also need my men to be intelligent. Agreement on politics is also awfully helpful.

I have always been attracted to artistic, charismatic men. Musicians, artists, athletes, entrepeneurs etc. Intelligence and wit has always been
important to me, but especially as I have gotten older and wiser.

I have always been attracted to handsome, cute boys and men, but over time got bored with the ultra conceited pretty boys who did'nt treat me all that well, to the nice, cute/handsome types who did treat me well, but maybe were'nt quite as flashy, rich, or as smooth.

I think being able to talk and laugh together is the best glue for any relationship. Also, having common interests is essential to keep people growing together.

Green Eyez, You are smart to not waste your time on men who not only don't interest you, but that you are not attracted to. If you don't have decent chemistry, just imagine what you will have when the spark dies down... at least if it starts out burning brightly, there will still be glowing embers that can be ignited again from time to time...

I wish I had a picture of all the major guys from my life. Visually they range from tiny and ugly to huge and gorgeous. Not one Republican among them, though. And with one exception (my college boyfriend who was going through a very attractive rebellious phase at the time) none of them consider themselves even remotely religious.

At my current stage of life I require two things: he has to think I AM FUNNY! I don't care the way I used to whether he is funny, but he better laugh at my funniness. And it has to be fine with him that I am probably smarter than he is. I am serious. Plus he has to be somebody who continues to get hard in my direction at least now and then...

Oddly, my friend Mark (with whom I am mainly friends but go through periods of having sex, too...for the past 20 years, taking breaks for years at a time) is most of that (fucker doesn't consistantly laugh when I am funny).

I am terrified of ever living with anybody again, though.

Fortunately Mark is working in Milwaukee for several months. The longer he is away the more he convinces himself we should really be together.

I suspect that once he comes back we will have a hot month or so and then go back to being pals.

Absolutely I'd MUCH rather go to dinner with Green Eyez than some date guy.

But I have always preferred the company of cool fun people than Date dates. In fact I doubt I have been out on more than five DATE dates in my life.

Be sure and let us know all about your "Hot Month"!! That sounds like something to look forward!!

Something tells me Frazz's "hot month" would be too much for us to handle!

Yes, I forgot to say that if he's a Bush supporter, all bets are OFF. I have a friend who is, but we steer clear of political discussion and we're OK. You can't do that with your main squeeze.

I'm also terrified of living with someone. I'm so used to going my own way and doing my own thing, it would take some kind of man to make me completely change my entire life.

Luca, EXACTLY! When I said I want a man where I want to rip off his clothes after ten years, I also want him to want to rip off my clothes. I will never ever put up with a man who puts me down, ESPECIALLY about weight. I don't mean if he does it in a caring way, but in a put-down way. In a mean and cruel way. Also a dealbreaker.

Nice/cute/handsome works for me! Adorable with an amazing personality has always worked much better for me than startlingly good-looking but can't pull himself away from a mirror. I have never liked flashy or smooth. Flashy for me always equaled small pee pee and zero in the bedroom. Overcompensation. As a matter of fact, any guy in general I can tell who has tried to "cultivate an image" rather than it coming organically from his personality, is annoying as hell. That includes "artistic types" who are high on "looking like an artist" and not so much in the talent department. Really rich people don't walk around flashing their money and shouting it from the rooftops.

So, a guy who's comfortable in his own skin is a major turn-on. I know it's a cliche, but a guy who can dress up formal and wear t-shirt and jeans works for me. The guy who refuses to ever dress up or the "cultivate and image" guy who wouldn't be caught dead in jeans, also yuck.

See? Not a tall order at all! (cough cough)

I could use a hot month. Or even a night at this point.

When DH is upset with work (a frequent occurrence the past few years), then he doesn't feel like doing IT. Some men probably want to do it more as a release or escapism. But, NO, not this one. He doesn't drink either (which is a good thing, I think.) What he does, drum roll please, is (predictably), PLAY MORE VIDEO GAMES!!!!! Sometimes I feel like I"m married to a 12-year-old. Not a 13-year-old, because then he might be interested in sex.

Maybe it'll happen tonight. We watch Entourage together in bed on Sunday nights.

Oh Austin, that is too bad hubby has some work issues that mess up your sex life. I'll cross my fingers that "tonight's the night". Nothing ever stops my hubby from "wanting it" I know, I should be happy right?

I can't even imagine what that would be like at this point. How long have you been together?

I think (I know) this is one main reason I got so involved with AI. Two years ago was even worse. He was in a situation he hated (he just dislikes where he is now, he doesn't hate some of the people like he did before). I felt completely neglected and boom! I found something to interest me and to take me outside myself. And here we are two years later. I guess it's preferable to me having had an affair. Although he sometimes feels like I have!

We have been together 21 years. Our 20th wedding ann. is July 26th.

Honestly, I think if I wanted it every night he would be up for it (no pun intended) But I just don't need it that often. Gee, I hope it's OK to get real personal here I think my perimenopause has had some effect on my sex drive. It's just not what it used to be.

Oh, and don't feel bad about looking for something to "get interested" in. It is so normal and most women do it. I have always had fantasy boyfriends! It's fun!!

I know this thread might delve into the TMI area, but what are ya gonna do? : )


I know about the perimenapause stuff. I was also on Celexa for a few years (anti-depressant, serotonin-uptake inhibitor type), for my fibromyaglia (to help my sleep-cycle), and that pretty much killed it while I was on it. I switched to something else; now I'm on nothing.

This June will be our 17th anniversary and August will be 20 years that we've been together. So hard to believe. I was fairly experienced before I met my DH, more than him, and it's hard to believe that I haven't been with anyone else in almost 20 years!

Yep, same here. One person for 21 years! I'm very cool with that though. I was a good catholic girl and not many men in my past I guess that is why I have an active fantasy life

I am so happy for you that you do not need to take any meds now. I don't take anything. I plan to go thru menopause naturally if at all possible! My mom did.

I was fairly "active" in college and thru my 20s. I didn't meet my DH until I was 29 and ready to settle down. He knew that I had kinda been around, but it didn't bother him.

Well, I said I got off the antidepressants, but I AM on meds. We discovered 2 years ago that I have high blood pressure. I was having killer head aches that we thought were allergy related, but it turns out that I have no allergies. It was the blood pressure, mostly, giving me the headaches. So I'm on 2 meds for that. And in the past year, I've had BAD bleeding episodes (where I couldn't leave my house), and now, I'm on Yaz, which is a low-dose birth control pill to try to keep that under control. I've only had one bad incident since I've been on it.

Oh no I'm so sorry about the bleeding episodes. When we were building our house 6 years ago, I was having very heavy periods. Flooding they called it. It was awful. I'm glad you have it under control now. It is a terribly worry when you need to go out and it is happening. Good thing you have the HB under control too

Well, you got to sew your wild oats before you met hubby I'm sure you have lots of interesting and fun memories! Cool that your hubby was not judgemental about your past and excepted you for the good person that you are