Make Me Laugh!

OK, I thought we needed a category here where we can go for a laugh when we need it. Anything you think is funny, tell us about it!

I'll start. Here's a couple of things I think are funny:


I think this is funny because "Chocolate Choo Choo" is exactly the kind of drink I order. I don't like alcohol unless it tastes like fruit punch or a milkshake.

Kids in the Hall - Girl Drink Drunk

Here's some great MadTV sketches:

The Irack


Watch this only if you have some time on your hands...it's 5 minutes long.


Michael Jackson - old and new


Watch this when you have ALOT of time on your hands. It's almost 11 minutes long. "All-Star American Idol"

1. The real Ryan Seacrest with frosted tips.
2. Brian Dunleman!!!
3. Real Randy Jackson
4. Real Paula Abdul
5. Real Kelly Clarkson
5. Fake Simon sings!

All-Star American Idol

OK, a couple more I remembered...I miss Dave Chapelle's show. The Comedy Central ones take longer to load and may have a short commercial at the beginning

I love Keanu, but this is hilarious:

The Matrix spoof

Skit with John Mayer. DAMN! I miss Chapelle's Show

Dancing

OK, I always used to joke that Tupac was putting out more albums than I am and he's...you know...deceased. I think Dave Chappelle agrees...

I wrote this song a long time ago

If you're easily offended, you probably shouldn't watch this. Dave Chappelle made a joke about Wayne Brady being white, so Wayne came on and pretended to be a gangster. There's fake shootings, bad language, etc., but I think it's very very funny.

Wayne Brady sketch

OK, again, if you're easily offended, don't watch this. It is one of the best sketches EVER as far as I'm concerned. It's the most well-known sketch of Dave's. It's a blind black white supremacist.

Clayton Bigsby

What a great idea for a thread!

I will come back here sometime when I have the time to watch it all!

Alright...I'll just keep posting in here until the thread catches on...

Sky was talking about watching George Carlin clips on Youtube and I decided to bring one over for you guys. It's the biggie. The one he's best known for. The one that can still cause controversy...

The Seven Words You Can't Say on TV

We'll miss ya, George. Pesci bless you.

That is the best one! He also has a funny one on airport security.

OK, I thought this was fitting. It's George Carlin talking about death. It takes on new meaning with his passing. A couple of warnings:

1. FC - DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, WATCH THIS VIDEO!!! I cannot stress this enough. Your head will blow up from upsetness and anger. If I had been through what you just were, I would not want to watch this either.

2. He is irreverant. George Carlin is a well-known atheist. He'll say some stuff religious people will find extremely offensive. If you have pretty strong religious beliefs DO NOT watch this video.

Enough caveats. Here it is.

George Carlin on Death

Now we were just talking about this. He does a speech about airline safety. I could not find the whole thing in one shot. The two vids overlap a bit. You'll know when. Watch the first vid up until "there's less wind in here". Then stop and switch to the second.

Once again, I will warn you. George baby doesn't believe in euphemisms or politically correct speech. If you get upset about hearing certain terminology about, say, the handicapped, etc., you might not want to watch this. It is really really funny, though, so I hope you do. Especially if you're scared of flying.

George Carlin on airplane safety

At last! Something for everyone! Oddly enough it's about common experiences. At the end it gets a little crude, but shouldn't horribly offend anyone, which is rare for our Georgie.

George Carlin - Common Experiences

I sent this to frazz via email, but needed to share it with you guys. This just tickles me to no end.

> DOG DIARY
>
> 7:00 AM - Outside! My favorite thing!
> 8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!
> 9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!
> 9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
> 10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
> 12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
> 1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
> 2:00 PM - Looked out the window and barked! My favorite thing!
> 3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
> 4:00 PM - Chased a bird out of the tree! My favorite thing!
> 5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
> 6:00 PM - Watched my people eat! My favorite thing!
> 6:20 PM - Table scraps! My favorite thing!
> 7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
> 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
> 11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
>
> CAT DIARY
>
> Day 983 of my captivity.
>
> My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
> They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
> hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
>
> Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
> nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The
> only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
> disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
>
> Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
> feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
> clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
> condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
> Bastards!
>
> There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
> placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
> I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
> confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what
> this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
>
> Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
> tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
> this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
>
> I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
> snitches. The dog continues to receive special privileges. He is
> regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He
> is obviously retarded.

Love that!! Have you also heard the phrase: Boys are like dogs and girls are like cats. The mother of two grown men and a daughter told me that.

Thanks for sharing that GE! It made me smile too!

That is so funny! And true!! I laughed out loud! Thanks so much for that!

Janice, as a mom and a daycare provider I can say with 100% certainty that boys are like dogs and girls are like cats! The boys are so easy to please and the girls always have "issues"

GE, I got the e-mail and was going to tell you to post it here! LOLOL

LOLOL

LOLOL!!!



But if girls are cats and boys are dogs, what do bird people like me count as? Hermaprodites?

What about the lamb people. Or the tortoise people?

Hmmm...Maybe we're putting our own prejudices onto the kids!

Yes, frazz, bird people are hermaphrodites and like to crap on people from high up, lamb people are calm but really scared of electric razors, cow people like to chew their food thoroughly, rooster people like to get up early in the morning and scream WAKE UP! Tortoise people like to stay under the covers.

Trust me GE, anyone who takes care of groups of kids can see it. The girls argue more, hold grudges (and for a long time) can't all decide on what to play and who gets to be who, and the list goes on. The boys - hand them balls, cars or trucks and they have a blast! If they get into a fight it is over in no time and no hard feelings. I have been doing this for 20 years. I have talked to so many moms who have both boys and girls and would tell you the same thing. Hey, there is a reason women are called "catty" and since you watch shows like The Bachelor I know you have seen that quality in women. Of course NONE of us here are like that! And of course not "all" girls are difficult and not "all" boys are easy. Just in general that is the way it is.

Oh, and since I have watched kids from newborns on up - I can tell you with all certainty that boys pick boy toys and girls pick girl toys on instinct and not based on being forced to play with toys appropriate to their gender. Sure there are girls who like sports and are more tomboyish and there are boys that love art etc. But I've observed it for years. I fill the playroom with many different toys and from the time they start crawling/walking the boys head for the trucks and cars and the girls head for the dolls and dollhouse. I always encourage they play all sorts of games etc. and I can get the boys very interested in playing house, restaurant, store etc. The girls are less interested though in playing with the trucks and toy garage and fix-it shop.

Oy, not to bring this into the "make me laugh" thread, but I think from the moment girls are put into a world of pink and boys blue, we attribute certain qualities that are supposedly "instinctive" onto each sex. I did kind of a study on this when I was younger. I watched kids in an elementary school classroom and the difference in the way teachers treated the boys and girls. I talked with them and found out that boys were universally given certain attributes and girls were universally given certain attributes.

I do get upset at the women who say they don't have women friends because "all they do is talk about hair and make up". I'm like, REALLY? Who are you hanging out with? Why are you a traitor to your own gender?

I see the guys acting the same way the bachelorettes do on "The Bachelorette" but whereas the men are seen as "competitive" the women are seen as catty and backstabbing. They're doing the same thing. That is not to say that when the women are practically killing each other over a guy that I think it's great. I am personally offended when I see people acting like the stereotype we attribute to them. I just mean that if a man and a woman exhibit the same behavior, the attributes are given different names, with the men looking way better.

My mom worked in an elementary school for many many years, so I had the opportunity to see it first-hand. I find the term "catty" to also be horribly offensive. Most of the vulgar condescending terms are saved for women.

I don't know any boy or man who's just totally happy with everything. I think that boys learn from an early age to suppress their emotions and dissatisfaction, while girls are encouraged to express themselves. I think that's why by the time they're in school, they know their role and act accordingly.

I don't think when Janice shared the quote from her friend she meant for any deep social debate to take place. So sorry about that Janice. I got what your friend meant. I think it's funny, and personally rather true. I thought the part of "girls are like cats" and the expression "catty" for how many females can act kind of funny/ironic.

I myself was referring to the way "babies" and "toddlers" respond to the toys and activities. I've watched that for 20 years and I stand by that 100%. I don't teach elementary school. It is unfortunate that that takes place.

Little boys in MY daycare are easy to please and happy! No problems with them at all. Just the way it is in my daycare. I'm stating my personal experience for 20 years with very small children. My daycare - happy boys having lots of fun easily = puppies. Girls - arguing with each other, stomping away from each other, wanting more "alone" time = cats. That's what I took from Janice's friend's quote

I'm sure Janice didn't mean it by her harmless comment too. I have heard that many times and laughed about it. It was when there was a sweeping generalization about girls and boys where I went "whoa! That kinda scares me!"

I stand by the fact that many of the things we attribute as "instinctive" are, in fact, learned and there's a pre-disposition to think that boys are just happy with everything and girls are "difficult" and so if a girl raises a fuss about anything, it's just seen as stereotypical behavior. Maybe if the girl was taught some of the things the boys are, there wouldn't be any "stomping away".

Parents teach their boys to be "little men" and girls to be "little ladies". If a little boy cries, he's pretty much told by the parents this is unacceptable, and if a little girl cries, well, she's just being a difficult little girl and you just deal with the "difficult" little girl.

Isn't it the stereotype that the guy needs more "alone time" and the woman is always "needy"? If anyone takes the time to actually sit and talk for a while to these "happy" little boys, they may be surprised to find they have learned to suppress any unhappiness they may feel.

I"m not saying men and women aren't different. I understand about the hormones. I'm just saying I've talked to a lot of gay men and they all say that anything even vaguely un-manly was perceived as bad and the parents tried to stomp it out of them. Same with gay women exhibiting male characteristics. Much like on AI, they're told to get back in their box and stop scaring mom and dad.

Um, I'm talking about little boys who are 2 and 3. I don't think I am going to sit down and discuss with them about the reason they "seem" happy and what they are surpressing Lord this got out of hand.

I took Janice's quote to mean the opposite of what FC is saying, as in girls are smart and capable of complex thought and guys are just mindless and shallow.

You think doggies are mindless and shallow??!!

Aww come on! How many dogs have you had a good conversation about Proust or Wittgenstein with???

I mean Proustian thoughts, and Wittgensteinian ideas are at the core of what we discuss here.

[[see? my new avatar looks like somebody who would talk like that. The image is already rubbing off on my current self]]

Whoa! When I read what GE wrote I thought it was really funny and it brought to mind what my friend said. We laughed about it when she said it, as did the males who were there and heard it. No one was offended, read anything into it or took exception to it. It was simply an amusing comment. IMO there is some truth to it in that generally speaking, guys don't spend time analyzing and agonizing over things to death or looking for hidden meanings or exceptions nearly as much as females. I think there have been a few studies on that and it seems to be a popular subject in women's magazines, where it is discussed ad nauseum.

Oh Janice, it's totally not your fault. I've heard that too. Probably even said it myself, but meant it more in the way frazz said (men = mmmm sex good, food good, BOOBIES! and women are like ""I need to impress him with my knowledge of Proust and Wittgenstein", not in the "women are difficult and guys are easy-going" way. I got my hackles up and, well, we all know what happens when them hackles get up. My mouth (or, you know, my keyboard) shoots off in a million different directions. I'm a master debater! No worries, chica!

OK, now for something to LAUGH AT in the MAKE ME LAUGH thread! I didn't put this here at first because I didn't want to offend anyone, then I realized that I do that anyway just being me, so what the hell! An awesome MADTV sketch. I had to put it here because of the discussion about weight in the other thread and my own battle with my mid-section.

Eat Less, Move More

Hi Janice, I enjoyed your post!

I believe that it really is true that more women than men think about things (for instance, consequences of doing things like cheating on a spouse, or general injustices of everyday life) and more men than women just do what they feel like because it feels good, and expect to be allowed to do wehatever they want because they are so loveable.

Your post was not offesive to me, at all.

The interpretation that is often put forth in the world (mostly America) that women more than men, and girls more than boys, are complainers, backstabbers and unpleasant offends me somewhat, but I do view it as a challenge to contribute to breaking that stereotype.

FC is my target. I am gonna hammer that cutie pie until she gets it that girls are really cool.

No girl-bashing implication was in your post.