Raines Recapped pt. 3

Putting part 3 of Green Eyez's recap in normal font so I can read it (with delight):

Raines goes to Jimmy’s home, which is very small, but lots of light. He made himself a studio in the dining room. Jimmy is already there, welcoming Raines to his home and offering him a cheese puff, and then excitedly brings Raines over to show his latest art work. You can see from Raines’ smile that he really likes this kid and is interested in seeing what he’s done.

The comic is Payback. It’s about a guy who commits suicide after his family is killed by the mob. After he’s buried, hazardous waste leaks into his grave and he’s re-animated. Raines says he heard about it from Jolie. Jimmy goes on to explain that our hero is invulnerable because he’s already dead and he stays that way by ingesting toxic waste.

Raines: Ooh, that lunch box is gonna be a big, uh, big seller.

Suddenly he hears a noise and goes to investigate in the bedroom. It’s Jimmy’s pet turtle. Jimmy’s now in the bedroom asking if he got killed there. Raines explains that there’s no forced entry or sign of blood and looks down to find A HUGE BONG. Raines says now the tortoise makes sense since “it’s the only pet you can catch when you’re stoned”. Raines continues around the room and finds a newspaper article “5-Year-Old Calls 9-1-1 as Father Overdoses”. Ahhhh…he didn’t die in Desert Storm. Jimmy feels bad because he couldn’t save his dad because he was by himself. He says to Raines “you know how that feels” (partner killed) and Raines looks away guiltily and focuses on a locked cabinet. Raines goes to break the lock with what I would swear is the life-size version of the “iron” in the Monopoly game. He finally gets it open to reveal bags and bags of pot. Jimmy says he has a huge drug problem, but Raines concludes he was a dealer which will “definitely get you killed”. Dun dun dun!

Jimmy wants to know why Raines doesn’t see him differently now that he found out he’s a drug dealer (usually whenever he finds out something new, the character changes according to the new info and so now Jimmy should look a little scummier at least). Raines immediately starts making excuses for the boy, saying he might not be a dealer and there may be another reason the drugs were there (like: I swear I was holding them for a friend!). Jimmy demands to know what the reason could be, but Raines is avoiding him, saying “it’s quiet time” and knocks at the door of a neighbor. Who should answer but one of the old neighbor ladies on Desperate Housewives, with her own bong in her hand, just a-smokin’ away! She’s not even put off by the badge Raines is flashing at her and he seems really amused. He introduces himself and she says, “your move sweetie”.

He comes in and sits at the kitchen table and as she’s sitting, she explains that Jimmy helped her get the medicine for her “glaucoma”. I knew some people with really bad cases of glaucoma. She’s also holding a brown paper bag. Raines asks her to put out her bong, which is still lit. She laughs all stoner-like and clumsily empties out a candy dish to put over the bong. All Raines says under his breath is “your candy dish” and I’m frankly doubled over laughing. He starts to ask her if she ever saw any of Jimmy’s customers or friends, but is distracted by a cat on the shelf and asks if the cat is breathing. She says she hopes not because the cat died years ago and she had her stuffed. Raines mentions Roy Rogers & Trigger and that “Norman Bates did that – Taxidermy. That’s the highest form of flattery, isn’t it?” She slurs “impersonation” as she stuffs candy into her mouth.

Raines asks if Jimmy had any problems with anyone lately and she says, “last week…” and then just stares off into space all glassy-eyed. He tries to bring her back with, “last week…?” and she says “I’m not a mind-reader. What about last week?” Weeeee! Jimmy appears behind Raines holding a cookie and asks if it’s the old age or the weed. Raines says, “Old age put her on the bicycle, but the weed’s doing the pedaling.” Oh, if you don’t watch this show, you’re really missing out. The old lady catches this last part and reminds Raines that she’s not a peddler, she’s a consumer and wants to get back to talking about the argument with Sergei! Sergei owns the smoke shop and apparently Jimmy had an argument with him out in the hallway. She says he’s a nasty man but “wonderful bongs”. The argument was about Jimmy owing Sergei money. Suddenly she asks if Raines thinks he killed Jimmy. Raines assures her he’ll ask Sergei when he sees him. Then he goes to leave and she gives him the bag which turns out to be her dead husband Anthony’s shoes. Raines assures her he’ll take good care of them.