Boston Legal Recapped

We start off with Frank Whaley (if you haven’t seen “Swimming With Sharks, PLEASE make it happen-you’ll get amazing insight into the entertainment biz) coming off the elevator of Crane, Poole & Schmidt, tie slightly askew. He walks over-confidently to the receptionist, gives an obnoxious knock on her desk and does the “how ya doin’? I’m Frankie Cox” and you immediately hate him. He asks for Alan Shore. A pretty woman walks by him and he gives the “hey, how ya doin’”. He’s apparently taken pick-up lessons from Joey. Receptionist asks if he has an appointment. He says no, but he’s also an attorney and would like some “professional courtesy” and produces a card from his pocket which he flicks the back of, and while handing it to the receptionist, does the “hey, how ya doin’” to an older-looking woman in a suit who looks at him and keeps walking.

Receptionist, still polite despite this guy acting like a total dick, asks what it’s regarding and he replies that he’d tell her “if privilege extends to receptionists here”. Receptionist, now looking like she’s holding back a “fuck you” tells him she has to tell Alan something. Frankie says, “OK. I killed somebody.” Receptionist looks properly alarmed, and this disclosure gets him in to see Alan…

First words out of his mouth to Alan: “I didn’t kill anybody”. He goes on to say he “embellished” to get in the door. He talks like a used car salesman. Alan: Well, homicide’s a dandy”. Oh, I want him so bad.

Frankie admits that it is about homicide, but he didn’t do it. Turns out his brother killed his wife and Alan would be surprised since his brother is “a very principled guy” and that Frankie is the black sheep. Brother got Murder 2 for killing his wife. He got 8-20 years. He’s served 5. The thing is, Frankie here tried to help bro by covering up the murder. When bro (Neil) came up for parole, they asked him to tell the truth and, well, he did, so now Frankie is up for “obstruction of justice, concealing evidence, and, you know (clears throat) a laundry list of lesser charges.” He’s facing 15 years (wow! Helping after gets as much time as actually DOING it!). Alan wants to know how he’s expected to defend Frankie. Frankie suggests they use the argument of “brotherly love” and that we “founded a nation on that idea, or at least Philadelphia.” He laughs, but Alan just barely smiles. He does not like Frankie. Still, Frankie is flailing about, saying he’s got a lot of personality. He testifies good and “juries love him”. Smart Alan cuts to the chase “you’ve been on trial before”. Frankie insists it’s “little stuff”. Nothing as big as this. Alan just stares at Frankie like he’s under a microscope. Frankie sweats a bit and says, “pretty please?”

Credits.

Paul comes into Brad’s office with a document he wants him to read and sign and give back at the end of the day. It’s a “love contract”. It limits the firm’s liability when “good relationships go bad”. Paul says that many corporations are using them as “sexual harassment shields”. Paul wants to protect the firm just in case his and Denise’s relationship turns ugly. Paul refuses to sign. Paul reminds him about the billions paid out in sexual harassment suits each year. Brad is only concerned if Alan signed one (to be fair, if a woman in that firm has stood still for more than a minute, Alan’s bent her over a desk.). Paul says it’s only for people who have disclosed an interoffice relationship (well, Alan’s dalliances can hardly be called a “relationship”). Brad still refuses to sign it, saying it’s stupid. Paul fires back that the managing partners all agreed he’d better sign it, but Brad won’t budge, saying “you can’t validate stupidity by unanimous consent”. Paul’s voice raises and he basically tells Brad, no sign, no job. Brad pulls the partner card, but Paul doesn’t care. He has to sign. Brad won’t. Paul fires him. Brad’s shocked, and points out once again that he’s a partner. Paul, “you’re fired, partner.” Question: Does Brad still practice law? Has anyone seen him in the courtroom since this drama unfolded with Denise? Just curious.

Paul is in Shirley’s office. She’s shocked that Paul fired Brad, but he insists he had to because Brad defied him and the entire partnership. Shirley can’t get past the whole “fired him” thing. Paul says he had no choice, but Shirley insists that yeah, he did have a choice. Paul starts to talk about his “authoritay” (sorry – a bit of Southpark there-excuse me), but Shirley cuts him off, pointing out to Paul for the THIRD time in 2 minutes that Brad is, in fact, a partner, a beloved one (I wouldn’t go THAT far) and Paul was being “draconian”. Paul insists he did it because Brad was insubordinate. Paul says he adores Brad but there’s a “rank and file” at the firm. Shirley says that she’d like to tell Brad he won’t be fired if he signs the contract. Paul gives the OK, but needs Shirley to back him up. She nods.

Alan comes into Denny’s office. Denny has his eyes closed and his index finger to his forehead, concentrating real hard. Alan asks what the hell he’s doing. Denny: “Secret”. Alan says that Denny can tell him, since Alan is Denny’s “flamingo”. Turns out Denny’s talking about (the book & movie) “The Secret”. It’s the Law of Attraction and Alan needs to “get with the program, man”. Alan wants to know what he’s talking about. Denny says that if you think positively, you become a magnet and pull in everything you want towards you. He figures if he concentrates on world peace, maybe he can make it happen. Alan asks if he’s concentrating on world piece. Turns out Denny is working on something smaller: Raquel Welch. Get her first. Then go for peace. Alan placates him and asks if in the mean time, Denny will help him with the Frankie case. Denny wants to know if he’s guilty. Alan: 100%. Denny: Count me in. Denny starts to say that if Raquel Welch shows up…Alan agrees he has an out if she does.

Claire walks through a coffee shop, yelling at someone on the phone to have a file ready for her. She orders a coffee in the middle of yelling at the person on the phone and then stops dead when she sees Clarence with a pretty blonde woman. They’re holding hands being flirty flirty. Claire does NOT look pleased. BUSTED!

Brad is in Denise’s office telling her he’s going to sue the firm. Denise points out that Paul just has to get partnership approval…but before she can finish that thought Mr. Die Hard (tm Shirley Schmidt) says he’ll sue them all for wrongful termination because it was on the grounds that he wouldn’t sign a love contract. He asks her “would you sign that?” like she would have to be a total idiot if she did. Of course, Denise signed it. She explains that the things are boilerplate in almost every major company. Brad argues that this is even MORE insane. Suddenly a “Really?” comes from the doorway where Shirley is standing and apparently heard the last of Brad’s rant. Shirley ONCE AGAIN uses the high price of sexual harassment suits argument which, not surprisingly, is STILL not swaying Brad AT ALL. Brad starts to tell her how dumb that argument is, but Shirley cuts him off by telling him he’s backed Paul into a corner, and that’s “bad lawyering” and maybe they should fire him for that. Then Shirley shows us that she’s really the one with the balls at that firm: “Don’t think you’re bigger than us Brad. Everybody’s expendable. Even though with Jeffrey Coho’s departure we know full well we’re down to our last Buzz Lightyear. Sign the document or clean out your office.” ZOWEE she’s good! Brad turns to Denise and tries the “get a load of her” nod, but the boy has been dressed down and he knows it. Denise looks real concerned.

Frankie’s case. A cop is on the stand saying they knew immediately the crime had been staged. He says the victim died from a blow to the back of the head. The suspect (brother) had said it was “self-defense”. Cop says the knife was “conveniently” laid on the floor and her prints were on it, but parts had been wiped, he speculates, because they “probably” had bro’s or Frankie’s on it.

Alan objects. It’s overruled by the judge, played by Shelly Berman (aka Judge Jibber Jabber). Alan respectfully tells the judge that the use of the word “probably” means that it’s speculation. The judge says that he knows that and Alan “doesn’t have to object to every little thing that’s objectionable”. He knows what to ignore.

Alan: I see. Not to be a nuisance, but how would the jury know to ignore it?

Judge Jibber Jabber: Sustained

Alan: There we go

The Cop continues that the whole thing looked staged “meticulously” like a lawyer had done it.

Alan objects again, but before it can be ruled upon, the cop quickly says they couldn’t prove it. Then bro came before the parole board and admitted the crime scene was staged. Then he sold out Frankie COMPLETELY by saying it was all Frankie’s idea and that everything Frankie told the police when they got there wasn’t exactly the whole truth. Nice bro! That’s the last time he’ll ever do YOU a favor!

Alan gets up to question the cop, but before he can, Frankie yanks on his sleeve and says “totally beatable, right?” Well, it is Alan Shore… Then he says “sic ‘em Fido”. Oh, Alan is so not enthralled with this guy. We don’t see the cross-examination.

Claire and Clarence. Clarence comes into Claire’s office all chipper, hoping she’ll join him for lunch. Claire has put on her ice shield and just tells him no. Clarence looks really upset and his keen skills of detection pick up that all is not right here. Claire hesitates for a moment and then tells him this is not working out. She says it’s great in many ways, but just not for the long term and that maybe they should take a break. Clarence says OK but continues to stand there. Claire icily tells him to basically get out of her office. Clarence stammers an OK, but doesn’t look so good. He’s kinda sweating and looks like he’s about to do what he does. She turns around to a file drawer and in a hilarious moment, Clarence falls like a tree past the camera. Then a thud. Claire turns around and is all “oh come ON and yells his name. This approach doesn’t appear to be working.

Frankie’s case. Prosecution questions bro. Lawyer gets bro to say on the stand that it was Frankie’s idea to stage the scene….cut to…

Frankie, Denny and Alan in the conference room with Frankie completely freaking out asking Alan what he means by “no defense”. Frankie re-iterates about brotherly love, Ben Franklin, the Liberty Bell…he asks Denny what his thoughts are. Denny, who’s eyes were closed, opens one eye and says “Raquel Welch”. Alan says he thought he could poke holes in the case, but he sees now they really do have no defense. Denny’s suggestion is to go with “the secret” but Alan says he doesn’t see Raquel Welch coming to the rescue here.

Denny suggests going with Frankie’s idea of Brotherly Love. For Alan to make it a defense.

Denny: Are we not our brother’s keeper? Cain and Abel. Read the Bible, man.

Alan: Cain killed Abel.

Denny shifts tactics:

Denny: Whatever. Cohen Brothers. Go with them. They’re hot. “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” The jury will suck it up.

He turns to Frankie. “Denny Crane.”

Through all this, Frankie looks a bit worried about the guy on his side.

Alan tells Frankie he has to have his brother describe for the jury how and why he killed his wife. Frankie wonders how that will help him. Alan explains that Frankie helped a murderer and before he can get the jury to forgive him, Alan needs them to forgive the murderer.

Claire and Clarence. Clarence is upright and sitting on the couch in Claire’s office. She wants to know if he’s OK. He tells her he’s not and wants to know why she essentially broke up with him. She reiterates that it wasn’t meant to be. He says he knows when she’s covering. Finally Claire admits she saw him in the coffee shop. She basically tells him he picked the wrong girl to cheat on. She has zero tolerance. He says it wasn’t him. It was “Clevant” (one of his alter egos). Now, see I would have run for the hills long ago, but this little disclosure would have definitely sealed the deal. She says she expects loyalty from the whole team: Clarice, Clevant, Oprah…that if any of them are seeing other women, she’s out. Clarence commences with the begging. She’s not having it. She says she doesn’t mean to punish him, but she’s not strong enough and gets all choked up and asks him to leave. He does. She puts her head in her hand.

Shirley pays Brad another visit. She says she doesn’t see any boxes, so there must be a signed document. He says there is, but it’s a notice of appeal that he’s entitled to file with the managing partners requesting a full hearing. He tells her to “assemble the ranks”. Shirley informs him that he can’t win. He says he’s either going to win it there or in court later and that it’s cheaper for them if he wins it there.

Alan & Denny pedeconferencing. Denny expessing concern because “not all his ideas work”. Alan says it’s the only one they’ve got, so they’re going with it. Denny makes it clear that it’s Alan’s case, so if they lose, he’s still got his undefeated record.

Rut roh. Alan comes upon “Clarice” and immediately asks where Clarence is. Vacation: Bora Bora. Denny wants to know if any aging sex symbols showed up looking for him. Clarice wouldn’t know. Alan asks to have “a word” with Clarice. She offers two: I’m Busy. He orders Clarice to his office. Rawr…way to be commanding Alan. Once in the office, Alan wants to know what’s going on. Clarice is still all about Clarence is on vacation and she’s temping. Alan remains undaunted and keeps asking what’s going on. She starts to say she doesn’t know, but Alan stops her and says she does. Rawr again. Clarice admits Clarence got dumped by “that Bitch” (points to Claire’s office) because she saw Clevant with another woman. Alan wants to know what Clevant was doing with this woman. Turns out she’s an escort because Clarence is afraid of intimacy and thought Clevant could hang out with this woman not for sex but just for simple affection, then she might help. Like a surrogate. Alan wants to know if Claire knows this. She does not. Alan says he wants to speak to Clarence, but Clarice gets huffy and says that Clarence has left the building. Clarice storms out.

Alan is in Claire’s office explaining that the lady was an escort and Clarence is trying to work through his intimacy issues through Clevant. No sex involved. She says it’s not that she can’t forgive him because “she knows what she’s dealing with”. Now Alan’s confused. She says she just doesn’t think she can deal and she’s not as “rock solid” as everyone thinks she is and she needs to protect herself before she falls in love with him. Alan claims she already loves him. Who? Whu? I…don’t see this. There is ZERO chemistry between these people. They haven’t even been mildly affectionate with each other. Also, he’s got some MAJOR issues that a real woman in her position would totally not put up with. Hey, that’s just my take here. Alan says to at least talk to him. Claire reminds Alan that Clarence is kinda unreachable right now. She doesn’t want to talk with one of his alter-egos.

Brad pleading his case to the big wigs. To illustrate his point, he asks them to imagine if someone was gay and it suddenly became company policy for him to out himself. Paul says: That’s it? You’re gay?” Oy. Brad tells him what he said was “classy” and exploits his homophobia. He goes on to say that in America we have a fundamental right to privacy and as a legal principle, it should be observed by a law firm. He has a right to privacy that shouldn’t be subject to their jurisdiction. Also, that if they’re so afraid of harassment claims, to have the lawyers sign indemnity agreements. The idea of a love contract undermines their credibility as attorneys. Paul begins to speak about how the right to privacy loses its luster once they start getting sued for private acts of employees. He continues that if they are to be held accountable, they should be apprised of what’s going on. Brad is squirming in his seat and just really begins to let it fly:

Brad: Oh, balls!

‘Scuse me? He says that would just incur more exposure and it’s better not to have notice. Paul asks if he can finish, but Brad through listening to Paul. He goes on: what if it is adultery and the victimized spouse sues them for enabling? Why create the paper trail? Paul again tries to get Brad to let him finish what he was saying, but Brad is really on a roll and will not be silenced. He says that the policy isn’t to “give them notice” but to “chill relationships” and “nip them in the romantic bud”. Paul, who I think sees where this is going and is trying not to let Brad get past the point of no return, begs Brad to let him speak, but Brad is about to go willy nilly past that point when he says:

“Do you farts have any idea how hard it is for somebody who is single who works 60 hours a week to meet someone? The deck is already stacked against us without you piling on these oppressive contracts!”

“Farts” look fairly horrified and keep looking towards Paul.

Paul: Brad…

Uh uh. Brad has completely lost his damn mind at this point…

Brad: I am sick and tired of being lonely!

Paul gets a look on his face like “this has taken an unexpected turn…”

Brad (calming down & pointing to Paul): Aren’t you?

Paul looks beaten and sits down.

Brad, calmer, asks what would have happened if instead of signing the contract, Denise had decided to sever. That maybe she signed it because she’s scared about making partner. Brad gets his head of steam back and screams:

I’m sick of being lonely, you can all go to hell and you don’t own me!

He gets up, but before he leaves, he has this parting shot:

“And another thing! There’s so much sleeping around that goes on in this firm you’d have to hire a whole army of lawyers just to draft the contracts!”

He’s right.

Shirley (quietly): He seemed upset.

Shirley is fucking awesome. Paul looks completely bewildered.

Frankie’s case. Bro Neil is on the stand. Orange jumpsuit. He’s the anti-Frankie. Very soft-spoken and shy. He explains that he was in a “very difficult marriage” (which turns out to be an understatement). Verbally abused. Subordinated. A well spoken boy, our Neil. He says that the relationship probably speaks of his own character as well as his late wife’s. (oh, if only more people were that introspective). Alan points out that his wife “became late” when Neil hit her on the back of the head with a rolling pin. Alan says they’ve heard what happened after he hit her, but wants to know what led up to it. Neil begins to explain that they were having dinner and he had finally summoned the strength to leaver her, “or so he thought” and…FLASHBACK!

Neil & wifey at the kitchen table. Neil just trying to do his best invisible act and wifey is looking at him like a squashed bug, asking what’s wrong with him. Neil claims it’s “nothing” but wifey wants to know why he seems so “quiet”. Neil seems like a quiet kinda guy to me, but apparently he “usually blabbers on…albeit about nothing”. She wants to know if he had a bad day at work and “spilled the bosses coffee” while he was “fetching it like a dog?” Awww…it’s nice to see a working functional relationship. Neil seems to grow a backbone and begins to tell her they’ve reached point where...icy stare from wifey makes Neil’s resolve go bye bye and he stammers…redo the living room.

Back on the stand, Neil says he chickened out, but wifey of course, was not about to just let it go. What she does next I liken to that person who, having just witnessing someone commit a crime, and knowing they’ve killed in the past says “I’m going to the police!”. Wifey obviously hasn’t watched all the crime dramas I have where the abused, when pushed to the limit, eventually turns violently on the abuser…flashback…

Wifey wonders what the hell is wrong with him. Neil decides to go full-tilt with the “re-do the living room” thing and starts naming all the rooms in the house they’ve re-done and talks about how “the house never changes” and wifey, abusive but not stupid smiles her knowing smile. Neil continues trying to re-grow his backbone by saying it’s his “little destination of failure” where he gets to drive home every night to hear about how he’s not good enough or how he doesn’t measure up. Wifey cuts off this little speech with “you mean you don’t hear it at work?” and gives him her best snotty cheerleader face. He tells her he hates her. Wifey, who actually IS stupid, continues to placate him by saying “that’s nice Neil” and gets up from the table as if he’s dismissed. If ever there was a woman begging for a rolling pin embedded in her head, it’s this lady right here.

Back on the stand, he says that he almost lost his nerve again, but he refused to. Flashback…

Neil tells her it’s over. She asks what’s over and he replies that they’re over and he wants out. She wants to know where he’s gonna go. That the only life he has is the one which she’s managed to manufacture for him. He says he’s leaving and actually stands up while he says it. She asks him if he really thinks he can live without her. He tells her yes.

Back on the stand, Neil says, that the abuse escalated. He tried to walk away but (in the move of a true abuser who’s actually frightened to be alone and desperately needs the abused to feel important) she wouldn’t let up. He says she was so…punishing. Back to flashback…

In the worst attempt at keeping a man in his place, she asks if he remembers how years ago she was “screwing his boss”. He does remember. She notifies him that it didn’t so much stop as…it’s still going on. Neil looks thrilled at the news. She tells him the upside is they “still have a dialogue” and if she tells the boss to fire Neil…

“Gee, here’s something we could have in common. He can screw both of us.”

OK, she is, by far, the stupidest woman in the universe.

Back on the stand Neil is saying that’s when he reached for the rolling pin. Strange, this lady doesn’t seem very Betty Crocker to me. I picture more that she would insist he take her out to dinner every night. Maybe he was the baker.

He says he doesn’t remember actually deciding to do it, but…flashback…


when she turned away, he struck her with the rolling pin. Sure enough, he does. They usually don’t show it from the back like this, but you actually FEEL the rolling pin conk her on the head. She goes down. The next thing he knew she was lying on the floor and had blood gushing from her head. He’s standing there looking at the rolling pin like he’s completely detached from his own hand.

Back on the stand he says she wasn’t moving, and you can tell he’s getting all choked up. He says, “she was…”

Alan: Late

He says he didn’t know what to do, so he called Frankie. Frankie, sitting in the defendant’s chair, has a serious look on his face. In fact, during the whole trial, Frankie has not looked his usual smug self.

Alan has no further questions. Neither does prosecution.

Judge Jibber Jabber: This would probably be a good time for a bowel movement. I mean-lunch.” He suggests coming back at 2:00. Alan suggests 2:30 to make time for both.

Judge Jibber Jabber: Silence! I won’t stand for your…your…(SAY IT! Alas, he doesn’t)

Alan: Poop?

Alan, Denny & Frankie in the conference room. Frankie is insisting Alan doesn’t need to worry about him because he testifies “good”. Alan informs him it’s exactly what he’s worried about and that he needs to “check all the personality at the door and just be honest up there.” Frankie is rightfully concerned, saying the truth could land him in jail. Alan says that lying will guarantee it. He tells Frankie that if he never has another honest moment in his entire life, he needs to have one now. Alan turns to Denny for support, asking if he’s right.

Denny: She’s coming. I can feel it. His love goddess is “about to walk in right about NOW”

With that, Clarise comes walking in, telling them they need to get to court. Alan is amused and tells Denny and Frankie to wait for him by the elevators so he can talk to Clarice.

Frankie (whispering to Denny as they walk out): Is that a guy?
Denny: It ain’t Raquel Welch

Alan lays down the law with Clarice. He tells her that he won’t bore her with a lecture on how hard life is, but tells her love is harder. Clarice looks her usual skeptical self as he tells her that the odds are against all of us and if she retreats further inside Clarice or anybody else every time things get a little painful, she hasn’t got a chance. If (s)he really loves Claire “Clarence better catch the next flight outta Bora Bora and get his ass back here.” Clarice gives her best tough look to Alan, but when he leaves, she looks thoughtful.

Brad is in his office when Denise comes in saying she “popped” and stands sideways to show off her huge tummy. Yay! Now they can finally bring her out from behind the desk. Yes, Julie Bowman is really pregnant, so they incorporated it into the story line. She’s quite big here. He asked if it was “overnight” but she says it’s been happening over the past week and she’s been “dressing around it”. Brad, not quite clear on the whole process, asks if they need to go to the hospital. Denise tells him yes, but in a couple of months (I actually think she just had her babies within the last few days. I think her water broke on the set of BL). He asks if he can touch it. She laughs and says it’s his, so of course. Now, I don’t know, but I never felt she was telling the truth when she said it was Brad’s, and that she just figured he’d step up to the plate better than Coho. I half expect that kid to come out with some serious sideburns.

He puts his hands on her tummy and she moves it around and says “sometimes you can actually feel him salute”. Cute! Brad is overwhelmed and says they need to start focusing on schools. She agrees, but shifts to him “exploding himself” all over the managing partners. She talks about his “intense feelings” and he tries to talk about how stupid the policy is, but she’s talking about the intense feelings he expressed about her. She wants to know how intense those feelings really are. He responds by telling her she’s an idiot. Oooookaaaay…He tells her he’s been in love with her for the past 3 years and that she loves him too, but doesn’t want to. That she thinks he’s this silly right-wing conservative and that she’s horrified that she might love him, but he thinks she does. Denise thinks he’s getting this from a psychic, but he claims it’s from her behavior when they make love, because instead of her eyes darting around the room, her eyes are “laser-locked” onto his. He asks how long she’s going to continue to deny it. She claims that they’re dating and asks what more he could possibly want. Of course it’s…marriage. He tells her she doesn’t have to respond, but the offer is on the table. He says it’s a love contract he’ll actually sign, which…awwww…OK, Brad. You got me there. Denise is open-mouthed and speechless.

Frankie’s case. He’s on the stand talking about getting the call from his brother. Every bit of attitude is stripped away. He says he thinks Neil sounded hysterical, but he couldn’t tell since he was on his cell phone. He was in a hotel room with a prostitute and she was licking his toes. Alan stops him, but Frankie points out he said to be honest. Judge Jibber Jabber is interested in the “licking the toes” thing. Frankie says “I’ve got a few kinks judge. I ain’t proud of ‘em”. One blonde juror looks disgusted. JJJ wants to know if they charge extra for this toe-licking. Alan just says “judge…!” JJJ says “what?” but Alan just turns to Frankie to keep questioning him about what he did after he received the call from his brother. Frankie says he went over to his house and into his kitchen which leads to the flashback…

Frankie is freaking out, asking Neil what happened. Neil, crying like a little boy trying to explain to mommy how the lamp broke, says how he told wifey he was going to leave her. That she started in on him and he just swung it, but he didn’t mean to kill her. Hysterical, he asks Frankie what he should do.

Back on the stand, Frankie is saying that he was as undone as Neil. He says you would think he’d be prepared for something like that because he’s a lawyer, but when it’s “your very own brother”…flashback…

Frankie explaining to Neil that the police are going to walk in and pretty much know what happened. Neil says he’s feeling nauseous and sits down. Frankie goes over to Neil, puts his hand on his arm and earnestly tells him that even though they’ll know what happened, proving it will be difficult.

Frankie, back on the stand, says he kicked into “survival mode”. “Neil’s survival”. Flashback…

Frankie cleaning up and frantically explaining to Neil that all the forensic evidence means nothing because he lives there. All the physical evidence can be explained away with a lie. While Neil is having his freakout at the kitchen table, Frankie asks for a big knife. He explains that he needs to get her fingerprints on it so it would look like she lunged at him. Neil is all “is it legal?” Frankie points out that he killed his wife and “legal” is pretty moot right now. Neil suggests that maybe he can say he just came home from work and found her like that. Frankie explains to him that they “always look at the husband”. He’s got no alibi. She’s screwing his boss. There’s never been a bigger suspect and he’s gotta forget about erasing suspicion. That the goal here is for Neil to get away with murder.

Back on the stand…Frankie is saying that’s exactly what they did. They told the story about her attacking Neil and since she was abusive, they thought everyone would believe it. They also put her blood at the edge of the counter so it would look like that’s where she hit her head when Neil pushed her. Then he got rid of the rolling pin.

Alan sums it all up with saying that he concealed evidence, obstructed justice and did everything he could to help Neil get away with murder. Frankie answers in the affirmative. Alan reminds him that he’s a lawyer. An officer of the court. Frankie says yes he is, but it was his brother. A brother he spent a lifetime embarrassing. That Neil is a very moral person and he’s not. He’s been busted a bunch of times with hookers. This was the first time he was ever in a position to help his brother, and that Neil always supported and helped Frankie and he loves him.

He says, “I would rather go to prison than…so yes, I tried to help him get away with a murder I know in his heart he did not mean to commit.” Bro hangs his head.

Closing arguments. Prosecution summing up that Frankie basically admitted to all the things he’s on trial for. The only thing they have to do is uphold the law, but that’s not what the defense wants. That if they’re saying Frankie admittedly broke the law, they’re preying on the jury’s willingness to do the same. He says they took an oath not to do that.

Alan’s closing: He thinks oaths are overrated. That an oath in this context is a sworn commitment to a set of absolute fixed ideas within rigidly narrow parameters (say THAT 3 times fast!) The letter of the law is stated in black & white, but is served in shades of gray.

JJJ: Stop playing the race card in my courtroom!

Alan laughs and continues. He tells the jury not to forget that nobody got away with murder. Bro is in prison, but it’s not enough for the police. They want to go after Frank. (Shot of Frankie looking solemn, sitting next to Denny, who has his eyes closed). He says all Frank did was try and help a loved one in desperate need and didn’t hurt anyone.

Then he goes in for the kill…

He bets they’ve all asked themselves at some point if they would help a relative or friend try to get away with a crime, even murder. He asks if they’ve ever wondered. He says he doubts the answer comes quickly without a bit of a struggle and that Frank was faced with that question and he came down on the side of “brotherly love”. He says it didn’t make him smart, but human. In our weakest moments, and perhaps our noblest moments, we’re human. The law is meant to be human and that’s why they temper those absolute black and whites with jurors. To humanize our judicial system and to render it fair, compassionate and imperfect. He points out again how much Frankie loves his brother and that night when Neil was in desperate need of Frankie’s help, he gave it to him as a loving brother would.

Alan sits back down and Denny looks over at Alan admiringly.

Claire & Clarence. For some reason, Claire is sitting on the couch in her office on her laptop. After his good talking-to from Alan, Clarence comes walking in and apologizes. He says he has certain fears he’s trying to work on. Claire says that if she’s with a man, he’d best work on his fears with her. Not with call girls. He tries to explain that he’s working hard to become a better man to the extent that she might not see the work in progress. Claire explains that even in a wig, he’s the best man she’s ever known. She invites him to sit next to her (he chooses to sit on the arm of the couch) and says that the point of a relationship is to see each other for who they really are and trust that nothing will be rejected. Clarence stands up, stammers, and admits that he’s never been able to trust like that before. She stands up and asks him to start with her. She comes towards him awkwardly and when the hug, honestly, like they’re brother and sister.

Frankie’s case. Back in the conference room, Frankie is pacing and complaining about how much time has passed. They’ve been out for less than an hour. Frankie says that in his cases, juries are only out for a half-hour – but he always loses.

There’s a knock on the door. No, it’s not a verdict. Someone is there to see Denny. Denny gets all excited and asks if it’s a celebrity. Yes. Icon? Yes. Sexual predator? Yes, again. Denny says to show her in. It turns out to be…Phyllis Diller. She asks if he remembers him. They had a moment during WWII. She says Denny’s an animal. AN ANIMAL! Like a DAWG! (said like a new yawkah, not like Randy Jackson). While Phyllis laughs her signature laugh, Alan says the Secret has a few kinks to iron out and someone comes in to say they do have a verdict. Denny stands there catching flies, Phyllis is still cackling which goes into…

The courtroom, where Denny is still sitting there, totally in shock.

JJJ: What say you? (looking at Alan)

Alan points to the jury.

JJJ: Oh. (looks at jury) What. Say. You.

Blonde disgusted-looking woman from before is standing with the verdict in her hand. She starts by reading the charges and JJJ stops her just as she’s about to say the verdict. He tells the jurors that this concludes their service. Alan tells him there’s more. He asks the blonde lady if there is, indeed, more. She looks totally bewildered, nods her head and says “we the jury? Find the defendant Frank Cox “not guilty”. At the defendant’s table, Frankie says “WHAT?” Then turns to Alan and says “didn’t I tell ya?” and Alan says, “you testify good” and you can tell he’s come full-circle and likes Frankie now. JJJ finally gets to tell the jury that this concludes their service and mumbles about being adjourned.

Frankie tells Alan that he often doesn’t speak from the heart because…Alan finishes the sentence “you’ve been unable to locate it?” Frankie tells him that’s a good one and he’s got to remember that. He says he’ll never forget this. Alan tells him neither will he. Frankie opens his arms to hug it out. Alan tells him he doesn’t have to, but Frankie totally goes for it (hey, I would too). Alan looks like he’s being strangled and Denny is still sitting there in a daze.

Brad’s walking through the hallway when Shirley catches up with him. She says that his passion carried the day and no more love contract. Brad is relieved. He asks Shirley if she would have really fired him.

Shirley: Between you and me? Yes.

Have I mentioned the awesomeness of Shirley?

Denise comes walking by and he gives her the good news. She tells him he’s 2 for 2. He asks her what she means by that. She tells him the answer is yes. She’s not going to give birth to a litter of young Republicans, but she supposes there’s no harm in having one who’s in charge of homeland security. One whom she’s horrified to admit she…loves.

At this point Denny and Alan come off the elevator with Alan wailing “WWII?” Denny says she jumped him from behind a bunker. Alan: Laws of attraction, I guess. Denny: I’m gonna sue those people.

Brad & Denise get back to their discussion. She says she believed she spoke last and basically, what say him? He promises she’ll never regret her decision and he’ll wake up every morning dedicated to making her happy. Now THAT is a contract I’d totally make him sign! She says she believes him (sucker!) and he asks if he can kiss the bride. She says he may. They kinda look around to make sure nobody is there and as the strains of Dean Martin’s “you’re nobody till somebody loves you” comes on, they kiss. Now this is a couple with some chemistry!

The song leads us up to Denny’s balcony. Alan is asking Denny if he ever killed someone, would Denny help him get away with it. Denny says he might and asks who he has in mind. Alan says nobody really. He goes on to say that love can cause such a variety of insanities (amen to that brothah!). It can impel a man to risk his freedom for the sake of his brother. It can drive one to commit murder. In the absolute height of madness..

Denny finishes the sentence: gets you frisky in a foxhole with Phyllis Diller.

They laugh. Then Alan gets serious and says he worries about Clarence being in love. (Gee, I’m more worried about Claire and her decision-making capabilities). The pain that goes along with it.

Denny asks when Alan was last in love. Alan just sighs. Denny’s like “ooooh” and looks down, then asks if he longs for it. He does. But he also fears it. The idea of part of him being controlled by somebody else. Denny tells him that’s the joy. The surrender. Alan asks if Denny has ever cried with a woman.

Denny starts to bullshit with “oh many, many…” but Alan looks at him and he can’t go on. “No”. He asks if Alan has. No, he says, but some men do. Denny says they’re weak men and not like them. They’re…(both chiming in together) strong (but not like they mean it). It’s what makes them who they are. Kings. “Masters of their Domain”. Alan: Alone. Denny: You’re never alone-on my balcony. Alan laughs and says he knows.

Quiet moment then Alan says “Sleepover tonight?.

Denny’s like “oooh…dammit! And you wonder why I resist these tender moments! Alan says to forget it, but Denny says that now he’s the bad guy (like Denny is the guy and Alan is the girl-TOO CUTE! I love these two together). Denny says Alan could have ended it with “you’re never alone on my balcony” but he always has to push it.

Alan: Buck up!

…and “You’re nobody till somebody loves you. You’re nobody till somebody cares” comes back on as Denny looks over towards Alan and then looks straight ahead…then Alan looks over towards Denny…who finishes his drink…and then they’re both looking out over the city…

“so find yourself somebody to love”.

Next week: Jerry returns! Gail O’Grady is back! And…URKLE!!!

Just finished reading the recap. Ahhhh, delight and bliss. GE you are great at this!

Thanks Frazz! I've gotta tell you, it's really helping me.

I keep getting stuck in my writing and people kept telling me to write something every day, but I guess I'm one of those people who needs a goal, so this works out perfectly.

I'm glad that in the process I can entertain you guys.

Yes, Very good GE! I may start watching this show. I used to adore The Practice, but I never really got into this show. BUT, I have to see Urkle!! My kids adored him when they were little and I haven't seen him in a long time.

What is the next show recap going to be???

Awwww...I'm so glad you guys like the recaps!

The next show to be recapped will be Raines. I've got it dv-r'd (as I do ALL the shows I watch-I HATE commercials).

I'm trying to get a script finished by the May 1 deadline, but so far I've been able to slip in my recapping with my screenwriting.

I am going to do my best to have the Raines recap up before next week's episode!