Personal Struggles--hard times, advice, progress

Thanks Luca! I appreciate the words of encouragement!

Hubby just came in and said to me "We are going out to dinner tonight!" YEAH!

Oh FC. So sorry. Your dad is lucky he has you all.

Oh, FC..............make sure something is done, what happened should NOT have happened. Big hugs to you all.

FC? How is your Dad doing?

My dad is doing pretty good. Mom and I went to the hospital this morning to see him before and after our meeting with the Patient Advocate. His color was really good today. His voice was stronger. He was sitting up on the bed on his own. He was working with 3lbs weights for his upper arm strength. After the meeting when we went up he was doing a good job gobbling up his lunch. The best I have seen him eat since he went back into the hospital with the last infection.

But you have to hear this! The PT who came to work with him today, while mom and I were in the meeting, obviously didn't go over his chart or anything before she entered his room because she walked in and said "Hi Donald! My name is Stacy and I am your PT for today. How 'bout we go for a walk!" My dad throws the sheet off exposing his stumps and said "Gee Stacy, I'd love to - but as you can see I am a double amputee." Good grief. Is it too much to ask that these people at least know what the patient is there for and what they need before they go in the room? My dad said she did a good job with his therapy but he could tell she was mortified. My dad knew she didn't mean to be cruel, but he said it still bothered him that she didn't bother to check into his situation before hand.

Still, it was a very encouraging visit with him today. With luck he will be out of that hospital and into rehab tomorrow or Weds.

I will say that I was pleased with our meeting with the Patient Advocate. She was deeply interested and concerned with everything we had to say. We went into great detail of everything that has happened. Not just the ordeal on Friday but all the other things like clogged IVs, things out of reach, no slide board for amputees, and all the other things we have seen that we felt the hospital could improve on.

She completely agreed with us that my folks should not be billed for the ICU or the extra days he has to spend there since rehab had to be delayed due to the ICU stay. I also said I wanted copies of every single charge to my parents since he first entered on April 16th. I told her we would be having the bill reviewed by a service that specializes in large hospital bills. She is getting reports out about our concerns to several departments (and me) and we will be meeting again on Friday morning after all the departments get the report.

I did imply we make take things further, but that the minimum I expect from them is to eat the ICU charges. That and that I would like to see better training of nurses in the area of diabetes and that nurses learn to also go by symptoms and not just one accu-check reading.

I also let them know we don't have the faith and trust in their hospital anymore since he would have died had my mom and MIL not been there! I just wanted to put a scare into them that maybe we would sue if they didn't see to it that the billing issue is resolved and that my father (and all diabetics) are monitored more carefully!

YAY! I just got a call that dad has the green light to go to rehab tomorrow!

FC, is the patient advocate paid by the hospital? If so, make sure you get all the records and talk to somebody (a lawyer?) else, too.

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I did imply we make take things further, but that the minimum I expect from them is to eat the ICU charges. That and that I would like to see better training of nurses in the area of diabetes and that nurses learn to also go by symptoms and not just one accu-check reading.

I also let them know we don't have the faith and trust in their hospital anymore since he would have died had my mom and MIL not been there! I just wanted to put a scare into them that maybe we would sue if they didn't see to it that the billing issue is resolved and that my father (and all diabetics) are monitored more carefully!

Excellent job my laydee! It sounds like you did a wonderful job of covering all your concerns and getting them to eat the costs of the ICU and for the remaining hospital days after!

You rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frazz, that was the first question I asked her! Yes, she does work for the hospital, but everything I read said that that is where the family should start. I let her know I was still considering taking things further - as in legal action. Not saying it will come to that. I am suppose to be getting a copy of reports on Friday.

Good job with the Patient Advocate, FC! I'm glad he's doing better.

Thanks ladies for your support, concern and encouragement! Thanks Luca for telling me to tell the hospital to also eat the extra days there. I wouldn't have thought of that I don't think! I just hope they don't give me any problems with this. Most people I talk to don't think they will. I guess I will know more on Friday.

FC......... I mean that, you take charge and make them more aware!!!

Guys, I have good news and some bad news!

I'll start with the bad. Medicare won't pay for any more rehab stays for my dad His current stay there is all going to be out of his pocket. So he says he will only stay about 4 days. We'll see how that goes I guess.

My father arrived at Marion Joy (the rehab) yesterday and they were shocked at the bruises on his hands and body. They took a ton of pix. I am going to try and get copies of the pix. His hands are a mess from all the problems with the IVs. I think the other bruises are from them not having a sliding board and not being able to easily move him. He has also developed some sort of skin condition within the last few days. It looks terrible and his back is a mess of sores. Marion Joy has started some type of treatment on it. They are so worried about his back that they are having him sleep on a special type of air mattress on top of his bed.

NOW, for the good news! When I got home (around 5:00 PM) the phone rang and it was the Chief of Nursing at Del Nor. She spent an hour with me on the phone going over things and she is setting up a meeting with my mom and me at the hospital with herself and the Patient Advocate along with heads of every department!! Nursing, PT, Security, Food Services, Janitorial, etc.! Someone from every department I had a complaint about. She assured me on the phone that my parents not being billed for ICU and the extra days was not even an issue!

I cannot wait for this meeting! I am so excited that I am going to make a difference!! She thanked me over and over again for taking the time to bring all this matters to the hospital's attention. She apologized profusely and said she is appalled at the report she was giving by the PA about what happened.

I really got the feeling she thinks we are going to do more - as in legal action. She seemed fearful of that in a way. I could tell she was feeling me out about what else I would like. This meeting should be quite interesting.

I am so proud of myself right now that I stood up for my dad and all that has happened!!

YAY FC!!!!

My favorite thing in life is when things are really difficult, and injustice threatens, that rightness and goodness can be the end result without having to sue the motherfuckers or disfigure them.

So...the fact that they fear you might do more is good, because you could (that is why you need all the evidence!!!!). And if they offer what you feel is reasonable, then all is well.

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I cannot wait for this meeting! I am so excited that I am going to make a difference!! She thanked me over and over again for taking the time to bring all this matters to the hospital's attention. She apologized profusely and said she is appalled at the report she was giving by the PA about what happened.

I really got the feeling she thinks we are going to do more - as in legal action. She seemed fearful of that in a way. I could tell she was feeling me out about what else I would like. This meeting should be quite interesting.

I am so proud of myself right now that I stood up for my dad and all that has happened!!

I am so proud of you too my laydee! You were rationale, professional, proactive, had your facts straight, and your wits about you!

I agree with Fraz, having the hospital fear a lawsuit isn't all bad in this case. I am glad you are being heard and not being charged for their negligence. And you may even have caused some positive changes that will impact other patients who are cared for in the future!

YAY for FC!!!!!!!!!

We haven't talked to a lawyer or anything because since we had a good ending I don't know that we have any real leg to stand on as far as a serious law suit. I just know my parents are going broke with all the hospital bills and I couldn't let them carry the burden for that horrible error in judgement by those nurses. I am just glad that we have got their ears and that maybe we can get some positive changes made, especially more awareness about diabetes and better tools for amputees, along with some sensitivity training.

I HAD to to have meetings with the hospital. I couldn't bear the thought of some other patients and their families being put through that type of needless trauma, or the thought of some patient dying because nurses thought they just needed to sleep!

Things are looking pretty bad for my dad. They have his heart rate stabilized, but his blood pressure is very low. His heart is only pumping at 10% power. The kidneys are not functioning properly. He is stuck between a rock and a hard place. They cannot treat the fluid with diuretics (which would help the heart) without hurting the kidneys. They cannot perform any sort of surgery because they do not think he will survive. We are on wait and see. They think he had a silent heart attack and that the diabetes is attacking his organs. He is in ICU. They told us to go home and get some rest as dad is sleeping and they don't think it would do any good for us to stay.

He is not suffering too much. His breathing is a little better with the oxygen tube. Virtually nothing was coming out from his kidneys. They can't to much until the blood pressure is higher. Right now it is 80/45. It was lower earlier today. The problem is he is scared and seeing him like that has me feeling sick to my stomach. I don't want him to know what is happening. I want him to go while sleeping. My FIL was in such a panic when he passed that it still haunts me to remember. I don't want that image of my father.

I am not feeling very optimistic. Hubby is being a good cheerleader telling me and mom it's not over yet. I just want him to hang in there until after Christmas. I am terrified he won't. He has been thru so much and hung in there and I just can't believe this is happening at Christmas

Thanks for listening.

I wish your father painless peace and the love of his family. I am so sorry.

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The problem is he is scared and seeing him like that has me feeling sick to my stomach. I don't want him to know what is happening. I want him to go while sleeping. My FIL was in such a panic when he passed that it still haunts me to remember. I don't want that image of my father.

I am not feeling very optimistic. Hubby is being a good cheerleader telling me and mom it's not over yet. I just want him to hang in there until after Christmas. I am terrified he won't. He has been thru so much and hung in there and I just can't believe this is happening at Christmas

Thanks for listening.

My laydee...I know what you are seeing is so hard. My heart breaks for you all. They can keep him comfortable and give him stuff to calm him down, that is the blessing of having him closely watched in the ICU. But,
you need to continue to advocate as you see fit on his behalf. If they are not covering his pain or anxiety adequately, let them know you want it taken care of to the best of their ability. He may need to be fairly heavily
sedated, but if that is what is needed then it is the best thing to do.

Your Dad has hung on as long as he can...I hope he can make it another
week too, but not if he is suffering and scared. Going to heaven on Christmas or before will be a release from all that.

FC my heart is breaking for you. I know how tough it is. I just wish your Dad much peace and love. I am thinking of you at this most difficult time.

Thank you. I know you understand. I know you all do. I truly appreciate having this place and you guys

Luca, he is not in any pain at the moment. Most would not know he is scared. He doesn't show it. But I know him. He is smart and is very knowledgeable about diabetes and what happens. I know he is concerned because he looks at the numbers constantly. If he can't read them he asked me what they are. He is so focusing on the heart rate, which is the one positive thing right now. When I tell him the blood pressure is 70/45 he says "that's good right?". But it isn't. I just say it is better than it was yesterday morning.

My mom, Rob and the boys are there now. I will be going later this afternoon. I need to get some things done at home like washing the boys work uniforms etc (they both work later today and worked last night and they have to go to work in clean uniforms. Eric does have two, but Justin won't get his second one until he has his 30 days in ) and my mom wanted me to make some calls.

I talked to the ICU nurse and she said he is no better/no worse.

I did have my little break down this morning. I have been strong and have not had a real good cry since the night of the first amputation, but when I told the boys to be sure and hug grandpa and tell him they love him (not easy for teenage boys I know) I really lost it. But, I have pulled myself together because mom needs me to be the strong one. She is not very good about handling these things and there are no siblings to share this with.

Have a great Sunday ladies and thanks for everything!

Hang in there my lady...I am glad you had a moment to let it go. I know you think you have to be the strong one for everyone else, but you are allowed to feel and grieve about your Dad too. I'm sure your mother knows and understands the pain you are going through. Crying together may be just what you both need to get through this.

Just take care of yourself. We will all be thinking about you and sending positive energy your way today.

Aw, FC..........My heart is breaking for you and your family. I hope he will be peaceful and not scared.....and you can be strong but you have to let it go too.............. Prayers and hugs for all of your family........

I just got home from the hospital. Mom and I are meeting with Hospice tomorrow morning at 11:30. They say he had a heart attack. All the organs are shutting down. The kidneys are not working at all and the liver too. The wound infection is MRSA and it is spreading. They say probably just a couple days. Maybe a week, but not likely. We will be meeting with the funeral home on Tuesday and will lay out his clothes for the wake. He wants a mass and than to be cremated and kept at home.

I told him he was a great dad and grandpa. He said I was a great daughter and that he will miss the boys more than anything. He told Justin he can have all of his books and tools. It has been the most heartbreaking day of my life. Don't worry Luca. I have not stopped crying for the last several hours. I don't know when I will stop. I hate that he knows he only has a few days. That is why we left. After he told us everything he wanted to he asked to me left alone with his thoughts.

The doctor said he will probably slip into a coma first and than it will be over.

I knew this day was coming. I thought I was more prepared. I am a mess.