Personal Struggles--hard times, advice, progress

I've been thinking of you off and on much of the day. You wanted him to make it to Christmas. I thought...It's just an idea, I hope it helps... make it Christmas for him as much as you can, if he's strong enough - tomorrow, perhaps. Play him his favorite songs. If he got anybody a present, open it while he can see the reaction. Give him a happy moment in this; give yourself a last Christmas memory that has him in it.

(((((((Firecracker)))))))) I am so sorry, honey.

If possible, as suggested by Abrahammy..........have your own early Christmas celebration, as simple as you can..........

FC I am so sorry . Your Dad has had quite a struggle. He sounds like a most wonderful man. I am thinking of you often.

Firecracker, I send you as many hugs and hand holdings and visions of angels accompanying you as there are in the universe.

Thank you all very much.

I am leaving for the hospital and the meeting with hospice. I am praying for another day to talk with him.

I will talk to you all tonight. Much love to you all and I hope you all have a wonderful day. Those of you who still have your dads - give them a call today. Say I love you!

I'm sending prayers and sympathy your way, firecracker. My dad passed away 5 years ago so I know this is a difficult time for your family.

Sorry about your dad Badger It is hard to believe you know. A little girl grows up thinking her dad is like a hero and will always be there for her. I mean you know the day will come, but you always think it should be a long way off. My dad has always been just the bestest guy and sure deserved a better ending than this. But I guess most of us feel that way about our dads.

It was a better day today than yesterday! When we got to the hospital dad was in his new room (temporary of course) sitting up visiting with his good friend Frank (86 and still ticking), his color was much better.

We found out his BP was up to 100/55 (not good but much better than yesterday) there was some urine in the bag and much less blood in the urine.

The priest came and performed the "Anointing of the Sick" and read the Gospel for awhile. The lady from hospice was very nice and gave us all the information.

Dad will be moved tomorrow to an inpatient hospice room for 2 days and then he will be transported home on Thursday where hospice will help out until the end.

We were able to have a more detailed talk about everything today. He wants his father's ring to go to Eric (my oldest) and his ring to go to Justin (my youngest) He wants to be cremated with his wedding ring on though. The boys will get the Saturn and we will sell the SUV for him and put the money in my moms account. Lots of other little things too. He ate some lunch and then wanted to sleep. Sadly, that's pretty much all he did the rest of the day, but I am so grateful for such a good few hours with him.

He is hoping to hang in there thru the weekend to show Rob and I all his paperwork etc. but even if not my dad has always been very organized and I know that we will have no problem finding everything we need to.

So tomorrow we meet in his new hospice room. I was amazed at all the things hospice will do for us! What a blessing they will be. Wednesday we will meet with the funeral home just to discuss what we would like and get info for when the time comes. I guess there is some benefit to know what is coming, being a little more prepared.

I don't know if my dad's being a little better today means maybe he will have a little more time than the docs thought yesterday, or if he just had a little boost before the end. I am just going to cherish everyday that we get to talk.

He is still not in any pain (thank god) but boy the diabetes is really attacking his skin. He has several pressure wounds now. If you saw his body you just wouldn't believe it But they are having the wound care nurses take good care of the wounds.

We do have to wear full gowns and gloves at all time because of the MRSA, but his is limited to the wound in his right stump.

So all in all it was a much better day than yesterday. Maybe all my friends wishes and prayers had a hand in that!!

You sound really good considering...you are such an amazing person~You most often look for the positive in any situation. I truely admire that ability. I think you are very much like your Dad..his daughter all the way.

I am so happy you are finding Hospice helpful. I was involved for a while as part of our Hospital's Hospice team, and I was amazed at how wonderful a program it is, and how unfortunate that so many families don't participate in it or even get the referral for it until there are only days left.

How are the rest of the family doing? Don't worry if you don't feel like getting into that...we will all totally understand!

Thanks! I am proud to be like him! I sorta look like him too! We have the exact same mole in the exact same spot on our right hands. It is too funny!

Mom is doing better today too! She may have gotten her hopes a little too high after this morning. She said to me when I was driving her home "maybe the docs are wrong and he will last months". I told her to please not get her hopes that high.

The boys were pretty down yesterday. Seeing him in the ICU and hearing the docs talk about just a few days was of course shocking and saddened them. But kids bounce back and I think they know how lucky they are to not only have such a wonderful grandpa, but get to have him so long. So many people we know lost their grandparents when they were little.

Rob is always so supportive and strong. He lost his dad 4 years ago so he knows what I am going thru. When my FIL was rushed to the ER via paramedics, he died while being transferred from ER to ICU. It just happened so fast.

One of my cousins (the one I am closest too and Justin's godmother) is very close to my folks. When I called her yesterday she was crying right a long with me.

Rob's cousin is having Christmas Eve this year and they are a wonderful family!! Her name is Linda and we are very close and in daily contact and is full of great advice. She has lost both her parents.

So I do have a pretty good support team here.

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One of my cousins (the one I am closest too and Justin's godmother) is very close to my folks. When I called her yesterday she was crying right a long with me.

This is the most important thing. Siblings are not necessary that person, but somebody needs to be!

For me, when my dad died, it was my downstairs neighbor.

Sorry you lost your dad Frazz , but I am so glad you had your neighbor!

I'm praying for another descent day today!

I hope your Dad has another good day today. I miss my Dad terribly ,he loved the Holidays. It is very hard.

So sorry you lost your dad too Aerwin I fear Christmas, and all holidays, will never be the same. That is heartbreaking isn't it? I do know I am so lucky that I got to have my dad at this age. I know so many people who lost their dads, and some their moms too, at a very young age.

My parents are both still alive. Two weeks ago today, I wasn't sure that was going to be the case much longer, and I just praise God every day that my mother was spared, and I am very grateful that they are both still here with me. This episode with my mother has made me very aware that my time with them is growing short now.

I am so sorry this is happening to you, Firecracker. I am so sorry it's happening during Christmas. I hope your dad has a series of small miracles that keep him going at least until the holiday is over and you all have had a chance to make peace with your goodbyes.

FC, I'm sorry that you have to face this, and it's especially hard at this time of year. I lost my Dad many years ago, and I still wish him a Happy Birthday every year on his Birthday. Cherish your remaining days and every day you've already enjoyed with him over your lifetime. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

FC, it's good you have so many people around you who love you. They're so important at a time like this.

We just put a deposit down on a board & care for my mom. I know it's the best thing for her, but this step is so hard to take, if you know what I mean. My dad, thank God, is healthy as a horse.

I miss my grandparents all the time. I can't imagine missing a parent.

West wishes for your mom GE. I know that is a tough choice, but I am sure you made the right decision. I am so happy to hear that your dad is so healthy!

Today wasn't a good day for dad. Very weak. Couldn't talk to us very much. Our family doctor came in to see him and had a good talk with my mom, dad and I. He has always been good to my dad and my folks love him. He says he will come see my dad at home. My dad's temp was really low today and he was shaking a lot. His blood pressure was down a bit again and more blood in his urine. He has an urinary tract infection, as if he didn't already have enough problems

Mom and I had a bit of a breakdown today watching him sleep. My mom has never lived alone. She lived with her family and then married my dad when she was 19 (she is 76). She is going to be so lost and lonely without my dad. We will of course be there for her as much as possible, but no way can it be the same.

My husband wants her to come spend some weekends with us. I'll take her out to lunch once a week and we'll go shopping, the boys will go visit when they can. I wish we could do more.

Hospice is setting up in my folks house tomorrow morning and than my dad will be brought home tomorrow afternoon. I really can't believe this is happening, but it is.

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Hospice is setting up in my folks house tomorrow morning and than my dad will be brought home tomorrow afternoon. I really can't believe this is happening, but it is.

I know. So much has happenned so quickly it must seem almost
surreal.
Are you going to hire caregivers to help take care of him, or is your Mom and you going to do all the daily care stuff for him? I know hospice pretty much just comes by and examines him, takes his vitals, keeps him comfortably medicated, arranges special products, helps with arangements, and gives emotional support and guidance.

Yes, you pretty much summed up Hospice, but they did say that we could have help there as much we wanted and that they would even come and stay with him if mom needed to go out to shop or get her hair done. All we have to do is call in advance and set it up. They will be on 24 hour call. Mom can asked them to come by every day, or every other day. Stay for 4 or 8 hour shifts. The hospital highly recommended this Hospice group and they seem very accommodating.

That sounds like a very good program they have, and just what you need.

I hope your Dad makes it home ok tomorrow.

Thinking of you, fc, and hoping love is surrounding you.

Wow. My situation is so different in that my mom said she wanted to go to a board & care after spending time at the convalescent home and having constant care and people around her. She also loves the place (we went to look at it on Monday).

I can't imagine what you're going through FC. Really really unfair. My love to you.

I think very sociable people really do enjoy the group homes. My mother was much happier to be there than in assisted living.

Sending more white light and hugs to FC.

FC............you are in my thoughts...........

Joining in on sending thoughts and prayers your way, firecracker.