Chitchat

I am so sorry you are in so much pain today Aerwin The Tylenol with Codeine is working good for me.

I bet it is because you can't have the chips! I think we all go through that "want what we can't have" thing!

I sure hope you are doing better tomorrow!

Aerwin, glad you made it though your ordeal ok! How ironic that two of members had gum/tooth surgery at the same time!

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Anyway, it is very hard to tell people who desperately want to have children that they shouldn't take a chance. I wanted kids more than anything my whole life, and I cannot even imagine life without my boys. I would hate to deny anyone that amazing experience. I do see the author's point, but sadly so many children end up with cancer and other horrible unforeseen health issues. We all run the risk of bringing children into the world who may end up dealing with terrible problems. I guess the best way to answer his question would be to ask the children of dwarf parents if they are glad their parents took the chance and brought them into this world - or would they rather have not been born. My guess is most of them would say they are glad to be alive and will deal with what they have to go through at times. Same with children of poor families.

I think you make some very good points FC. I think the key is will the family give the kids a good home and give them the support and love they will need to make it though the adversity they will face to become strong, confident, individuals who can make a contribution to society. I do have a problem with folks who are in denial about their chances to have a child that has a severe mental or physical problem and are advised ahead of time, then chooses to proceed on despite the advice of everyone to not risk it, then go on to be terrible parents that can't cope. I think it takes special people to be good parents, and extraordinary people to be good parents to special needs children.

Luca, I totally agree with you. If parents choose to have a baby knowing there could or will be problems, and they love them and nurture them, that's all that matters.

Alright, now let me tell you why this particular article bothered me. It was published in a local paper in the town my cousin lives in. He is a dwarf, as well as his wife and 2 adopted children. They chose to take a chance and had a baby that lived for 3 yrs. It was after this baby's death, they chose to adopt, and adopt 2 babies that were 'cast off' because they were dwarfs. I know this writer's remarks 'hurt' them as it hurt me too. There had been no indication before my cousin was born that he would be a dwarf. Who knows what causes dwarfism, it just happens and you deal with it. Yes, he has suffered....A LOT and is in pain most of the time, but so far his two children have not.

So sorry that your cousin is in pain most of the time, and I am so sad that they lost their child so young. That must have been terrible for them. Losing one of my children is my absolute biggest fear I think I could deal with anything else but that.

I am happy to hear that their adopted children are doing so well!! I wish them all continued health and happiness!! Good for your cousin and cousin in law for adopting the children and giving them a good life!

Thank you. They took a chance..................and then gave two other children a chance.

I've come close to losing a child, it was hard, so I can only imagine what it would be like to lose a child. I've seen what it can do to someone, since my sister lost a baby and my older sister lost her son when he was a young adult.

Wow, that is a lot of tragedy in one family I am so glad you did not lose your child! I hope all is OK now.

He was in a car accident when he was in high school, he was on the way to work. He is fine now, with some problems but not major. He lost hearing in one ear and developed DVT as a complication of his hospital stay. He is the picture of health now.

Oh noz teenage boys and driving. I fear everyday since both my boys drive to school, work and out with friends It is a constant worry.

I am glad he is doing well now! Sorry about the hearing loss. Bummer

The hearing loss he can deal with, the DVT(deep vein thrombosis) is another problem not quite so easy to deal with. He will always have a thread of blood clots reoccurring. He stays very active and that's good.

Wow, I know nothing about DVT I will have to check that out. Sounds scary!

I just noticed a misspelling, it should have read 'threat' not thread!

Basically, he developed a blood clot in a deep vein in his leg from laying in the hospital bed for 3 weeks. Once you've had a deep vein blood clot, chances are you will have one again. He has had a reoccurrance, and has been told just to keep exercising, he's a triathlete and bike racer, so he will stay active. It was funny, he said recently when he went to the specialist with the problem, the doctor said he looked way too healthy to be in his office! This doctor usually treats older people with blood clots.

That was cute what the doc said! I bet he has a great body since he is such an athlete! Good for him!

Glad you meant threat instead of thread. I pictured this long line of little blood clots!!

Yes, he does have a very athletic body!! He has calf muscles like you wouldn't believe!

Too funny about your visualization. DVT is very scary, but I try not to worry too much but as a Mother, even though your child is an adult, you worry.

Tell me about it Eric is almost 19 and I still freak when he decides to walk to a friends at night when it is pitch dark out. This friend lives on the other side of the lake behind our house and Eric walks around the lake in dark clothes, alone! He always has his cell and sometimes I tell him to call me when he gets there I know, I am pathetic I have already decided that when he moves out he will have to call me at least once every day so I know he is alive and well! Justin is only 16 so I have every right to be a nervous Nellie!!!!

Lord I am a nervous wreck when my son goes off with his friends. I make him call me when he gets to his destination. He says he'll do it but that is pretty psycho. Yes he thinks I am crazy. But he is my only boy. Thank goodness for cell phones.

Aerwin, I do not know what I would do if my boys didn't have cell phone when they go out! Especially when they are driving these country roads at night. I feel so much better know if anything happened help is at their fingertips!

This may sound weird, but once they moved out on their own and I didn't know what, where or when, of their whereabouts, I worried less. Weird I know. Maybe because I couldn't worry 24 hrs. a day........... At least you don't lay awake at night waiting to hear them come home.

I'll tell you though, that dreaded phone call is one you don't easily forget.

...and this is one of the reasons I never really wanted kids... I'd be a wreck.

Now that is it way too late to even entertain the possibility, any wavering I had in the past is gone. I am very happy to be child-free.

just needed to put that in here.

OK, continue with your mom stuff. GE and I are vastly outnumbered.

Not really, it is 3 against 4-5, we are the minority but not by much. I am another childless one. I did want to go there for a while when I was in my mid thirties and it did'nt work out. But, I am happy with my life and feel like it just was'nt meant to be. No regrets.

Weighing in on the question about the dwarfs who had a child.

The question is whether they did a bad thing by creating a child who had a high probability of being disabled? Well, do either of the parents wish they had never been born?

I think it's extremely arrogant of normally bodied people to declare that folks with disabilities are morally required not to take the chance of allowing their genetic problems to extend another generation. Now, if I were a little person, I might not have made the decision these people did, but that's not my decision to make.

But then, consider this: I have a brother in law with very severe autism. We had children, and sure enough... our oldest son has a mild case of Asperger's syndrome. Now, he's got a very focused intellect because of it, so he's staggeringly brilliant in a way that his uncle is not, but somebody might well fuss at us because we knew there was autistic spectrum in the family gene pool and we elected to have children anyway. Even more - after Sam was born, we had two more children. The girl is certainly normal and it looks like the baby is turning out to be, too.

There is always a chance that something will be wrong. All life is risk.

FWIW Frazz and Luca, I think if you had kids you both would have been awesome moms!! Very cool indeed! I am just happy that you are happy with your lives and in good places!

Abrahammy, so glad you had your kids even though BIL had some health issues. You are a wonderful mom and your son is very special! Also, I think your post was right on the money!

Luca, delighted to hear it (I probably knew you didn't have kids but forgot).

In my more curmudgeonly moods I think all people should have to take a very rigorous decent human test before being allowed to have kids. Britney would not have passed..along with most of the Kennedys. Jackie would have passed.

But it certainly would not have anything to do with dwarfism or other physical genetic stuff.

firecracker wrote:

FWIW Frazz and Luca, I think if you had kids you both would have been awesome moms!! Very cool indeed! I am just happy that you are happy with your lives and in good places!

Abrahammy, so glad you had your kids even though BIL had some health issues. You are a wonderful mom and your son is very special! Also, I think your post was right on the money!

Firecracker.........you took the words right out of my mouth!

Great minds think alike Sky!

My baby (16 ) got his first real job today! He will be working at the Jewel (a grocery store)! It is located right across from the White Castle where my 18 year old works! So now both my guys have their own money coming in! I'm so excited for my little guy. He will be working with two of his best friends from HS too!

I have to take him for a drug test tomorrow - a union thing - after school. Then Thursday he starts his training. Man, the sure grow up quick!