Chitchat

I kept thinking I SHOULD have a kid. Like it was expected of me or something. Most women are looked at funny when they decide not to have children. I'm sure it's worse for the marrieds out there who decide they don't want to have children. I think my mom finally resigned herself to the fact that her only child did not want to have kids. She's never made me feel bad for it.

I do think there should be SOME sort of test before you become a parent, because Britney would be childless today.

The Davises..Marvin and Mrs. Barbara Marvin Davis should certainly not have procreated (old story about the grandson being a truly hateful 11 year old at a job i worked as a cater-waiter at).

My parents were so bizarre they never even mentioned that none of their kids had kids.

I have a cousin who sends me funny stuff in emails most every day, but this one just had me laughing out loud!

Hope you guys enjoy it!

Quote :

A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM

If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess -- with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!

TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.

Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the Hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.

THURSDAY:
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes.

Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny bitch to find me

Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

FRIDAY:
I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.

Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damned barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher.

Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY:
Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little shit) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy.

I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!



!

OMG! The same cousin who sent me that also sent me a pic of her bunny's Xmas photo!! She never had any children so this is her baby. Is this not the cutest damn thing??!!

OMG. That's alive? I thought it was stuffed when I saw the pic. How'd they get it to pose?

FC, I LOVE that work-out thing!

That's her bunny. She used to have two of them, along with guinea pigs and cats (no, she really isn't weird or anything - just loves her some animals) and she would go to Pets Mart and get Xmas pix taken with Santa and her cats and bunnies. That would be her Xmas card! Her guinea pigs and other bunny have passed and she doesn't want to get anymore of them right now as she has gone back to school for her Masters and still has her own business. She is a busy lady!

Her bunny up there is named Hans!

Hans, the bunny is adorable! What a great Christmas card that will make!

Cute bunny!

Frazzle, did you ever have any personal experiences attending the Fillmore, either East or West? I know you are from Massachusetts, but I don't know if maybe you were in CA or NY back then.

I am doing a paper on the concert promotor Bill Graham for my class. It has been consuming my life. I just finished a book on him and I can't believe that anyone actually had a real life like his. Just unbelievable in a Forest Gump kinda way. Ya know, brushes with very significant events and famous people. And what a horrible childhood he had. I think it explains a lot of his later behavior.

I never went to the Fillmores. Graham produced some shows in Boston, but it wasn't the same deal.

I went to Woodstock, several Newport Folk Festivals and worked my way through college at two rock joints, The Boston Tea Party and The Ark (which I believe is the same space Betty last played in Boston...though they got shunted off to a sub stage.

My best friend who died grew up In San Francisco, went to Montery Pop and the Fillmore many times. I will see if I can telepathically connect with her memories. She would have been the perfect person to talk to about this.

Oh, I always feel so sad when you talk about your BF. I sure wish she was here with you now! I bet you will connect with her!

You have sure led an interesting life Frazz! Man, Woodstock!!

I'm sorry that you lost her Frazz. Let me know if you make some kind of connection.

Graham was actually involved in Woodstock (although I don't think the organizers were too thrilled). What a character he was! What a tragic life - highs and many lows.

I ran into several Boston Tea Party mentions when I was doing research. I believe it was modeled on the Fillmore.

Thanks.

Update on the employment front for me:

In addition to the part time job as webmaster for AIDS Project L.A., I am also doing small websites for an online hosting company. They pay very little, but just getting more designs in my portfolio is good.

The funniest thing happed today...they assigned me a site for Michael Eisner (the name of one of the most arrogant of the studio heads--he used to head Disney, now has his own Internet Entertainment company--just the other day he trashed the writers, saying there is no money for internet entertainment...lying pig.) I was horrified! Then I calmed down and realized that this rinkydink web site place would likely not be doing Michael Eisner's site...I mean he may be cheap, but not THAT cheap. OF course it turned out to be another, unrelated Michael Eisner, but I thought my momentary fury and panic was pretty funny.

Anyway, I heard from the guy at the major theater company today. They are not hiring me for the Associate Marketing Director job I interviewed for...but he is rethinking what they actually need for personnel, and he wants me in there! He said he'd call me later this week (though i wouldn't be surprised if it is not until the week after Thanksgiving) about another interview about doing some video projects for them.

He likes me! He really, really, Likes ME!!

How amusing about the name!! I bet you went into a panic!!

Congrats on another job opportunity! Of course he really likes you!! How cool that they want you enough to find just the right position for you! That is wonderful news!! You must be so excited!

You are probably right. The holidays do tend to throw things off. Please be sure and let us know right away!

I am really thrilled. I do believe they will hire me for something.

Congratulations FRAZZ! YAY!

Re: Eisner (prick!) I was working for FOX Family Channel when Disney bought it and made it ABC Family. I was standing in this guy's office and Eisner was on the TV talking about it Another guy came by and said something.

The guy who's office it was said, "shhhh...we're listening to our new boss...beezebub!" I totally CRACKED UP! There is a special place in hell for Michael Eisner.

Shmuck! Just ask the people who work at Disney.

There. I feel better.

Congrats Frazz!

YAY for Frazz!!!
For some reason I despise Disney and Eisner.

I think Disney does a lot of amazing things and lord there is a lot of talent working for that company. That said, as a daycare provider Disney really pissed me off.

Several years ago one of our daycare centers (in a small town in Illinois mind you) used Mickey Mouse on the front of the center for a certain celebration for some of the children. I can't remember which holiday it was or birthdays or something, and Disney came after them! I kid you not. Threatened to sue them if Mickey was not removed. I mean it was a temporary thing, for little kids, on a little building, in a little town, and not used for any financial gain - just decoration. I really couldn't believe it! I had no idea you couldn't use a Disney character's likeness in a situation like that. I have never felt the same about Disney since then. It was just shocking to me, that with the extreme wealth of that company that somehow they found out about this and actually took issue with it and harassed this poor woman who ran this daycare center. It boggles the mind

Something about Mickey Mouse totally creeps me out. Really.EWW! And that new movie Rattatoule? Hello. No.

Disney did that to a daycare center in S. Florida also. The place had an outside wall permanently painted with Disney characters. Disney said, "No, no, no." They HAD to repaint it. It's protecting its intellectual property, but still, it IS quite absurd.

I saw Ratouille and I actually enjoyed it. Not so much the fact that it was a RAT, (cause that does gross me out), but all of the food references I found interesting.

Neill just sent me a picture someone took of him and Sarah Silverman. I guess he was hanging out at the writers' picket line. The guy to his immediate left looks SO familiar.

Oh, tell me your brother whacked Cathy Griffin in the head with a sign!!


(sorry, Claymate reflex!)

No, there was no whacking of Kathy Griffin! I didn't even realize that was her until you mentioned it! She looks younger than she usually does and her hair looks darker. But Neill just wrote to me and said, "Did you notice Kathy Griffin in the corner?"

He will be here on Friday on his way to Florida.

Darn, tell your bro (who is very handsome BTW) to give her a whack in the head for me next time!!

I bet your bro had a pretty cool time today! I'd love to see some more of his pix!

I also think the dude in the bucket hat looks familiar, but I just can't place him for the life of me!