Chitchat

firecracker wrote:

It does not seem that this will go away all on it's own. At the very least meds. and therapy will be needed.
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I adore you too, but all I can say is that the doctor seems to think it is serious so that has me thinking it is. I mean he wasn't trying to scare us, just letting us know that it can become a permanent situation if not treated properly.

My wrist nerve problems did not exactly go away on their own. I had to adjust many things, teach myself to do things like sawing using different angles and muscles so as not to aggravate my damage, and do some pretty radical folk remedies to get my wrist to feel and to work again (including getting the ganglion cyst that the doctors were always aspirating by sticking a needle in which only made things slightly better for a few days -- finally got a baseball player to whack it with a big book, the traditional remedy that worked!!!!!!). My wrist remains susceptible to numbness, tingling and weakness, but I am soooo glad I canceled surgery at the last minute when I read the papers they wanted me to sign releasing them from any responsibility if the surgery happened to cripple me profoundly, a "normal" possible side effect of nerve surgery.

In the conference call you mentioned, it was only your primary doctor who was eager to do surgery.

Maybe an in person consult with another doctor or several would be really valuable.

In any case, he needs to rest it, and not test it for a few weeks, however much he wants to play the bass.

I continue to love it that that is the primary issue for him!

At best, surgery, if it went perfectly (but the things you have to sign will not even hint at promising that) would require recovery, not using the wrist/hand for weeks. So why not take those same weeks, without the risk of permanent damage from surgery, and immobilize the wrist, ice it, heat it and see whatever will be helpful.

In any case, surgery does permanent things, including damage, and at best, only improve it after a certain recovery period, that stay permanent.

I hope you get some other opinions for your son.

I make my living (however much I might like to make my living otherwise) using my wrist at a computer. I can't do my work if I can't use my wrist.

Thank the gods, the cosmos and the forces of goodness that I did not have surgery. Because with knowing the weakness and adapting, I can use my hand and wrist doing computer work for 12 hours a day now, 97 percent of the time.


My ultimate solution is to use a laptop type keyboard with a built-in touchpad.

I cannot use a mouse, even for one day, even for 30 minutes, without crippling myself. Sometimes I find myself having to use a mouse...that counts for the 3% of the time when i am crippled for a week. (If my math sucks, forgive me...what I mean is that with smarts, I can operate almost all the time).

If I played bass, i would have to build a custom one. But I would play, and I would not have surgery where they make you sign something that acknowledges that they might cripple you for real and forever.

Get another doctor. Get 10 other doctors' opinions before you commit to surgery for this particular type of problem, which as the other doctors said, is not caused by a specific injury like cutting or crushing, but rather by an extreme repetitive stress sort of thing.

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Meanwhile, if I had ongoing swollen glands that were not responding to antibiotics, and my blood work was not indicating anything in particular, I would absolutely, aggressively, seek doctors who had the courage to give even hypothetical diagnoses. It makes complete sense to me that Aerwin is alarmed, and if she does share more of the details I hope to help research.

First off, I am sorry you have to deal with the issues of numbness and weakness and that it can make your job more difficult. Second, smashed off with a book??!! Lord I would never to that!! Third, our doctor did not push for surgery. He "stressed" his "concern" for waiting too long. Sometimes with the wait and see approach permanent damage is caused, which includes total loss of use for the hand. He is worried for that to happen to someone so young. He gave us lots of printouts to read and wanted us to consider all options and talk with 3 doctors he felt were highly qualified. We will not have the surgery unless that is what we are advised to do by those doctors.

Every time someone has surgery they have to sign scary forms like that. I did with each pregnancy/birth,(you should see the one you sign when you get an epidural!) my DNC, my Dad had to sign those forms for every single operation he had. You should have seen the ones for the amputations. It is standard now. Heck, I had to sign really scary ones with each immunization shot my kids got. After you read them you want to grab your kid and run out of the room! But we all know it is still better to get our kids immunized. Eric had to have his tonsils removed when he was 6 and the doctors actually told us verbally that anytime a child/person is put out there is risk of death! This is what happens when there are a zillion lawsuits and lawyers and medical personal. I can't let the wording in those documents, which is now standard in all medical procedures, stop us from making the best decision for our son. He is the one who would have to live with those consequences of having a useless hand. We all know that despite signing those papers people still file and win lawsuits. I know, because I talked to a lawyer about it once before I had a procedure. If my Dad had let the wording in the papers he had to sign stop him from the amputation last April he would have died from gangrene. The papers from his open heart, bypass and pacemaker were even more upsetting, but he would have surely died 18 years ago if he had not had the bypass. It's all scary. You do what you got to do.

My Dad had a far worse situation with his hand and that doctor did an amazing job of reconnecting all his nerves and tendons and made his had almost 100 percent! There are many brilliant and amazing surgeons out there and thank god for them! My kids wouldn't have even known their grandpa if it were not for them. Yes there are horrible things that can happen with surgeries, but there are miracles too!

Trust me, we are not hoping we are told we need to do surgery (I will have a freak out moment) and we will not do so without reading all we can and checking into everything. I already read about this Dr. Atkins (the younger doctor) and he has done some amazing work with hands and nerve damage. As with any operation all we can do is hope and pray for the best. But I feel it is better to look at situations with hope and optimism rather than fear and dread. Yes, I will be afraid of Justin being put under. Yes I will worry all goes well. But if that decision is the one that has to be made I will be sure and think positively. I will be sure to show Justin we have faith that all will go well. I know that is hard, but I hope that all here dealing with any medical situation can do so with hope and optimism and find doctors they can trust. I happen to trust our family doctor. He has been too good to us and my folks for several years now. I wouldn't even consider changing doctors. In fact the thought of it - say he moved far away or something - would be so upsetting. He never rushes his patients out. He stayed 90 mins. past his office closing hours with us yesterday not only to make the calls but to print out tons of papers for us to read. He calls at night when he finally gets home to see how his patients are doing. He has won many awards and has had many articles written about him for his volunteer work in poor countries like Africa. His wall has many pictures of him with kids in those countries. He spends about one month a year (sometimes longer) doing that. He is not only a good doctor, but a good man. I have an enormous amount of respect for him as a human being. He is a better one than I! I sure wouldn't go to some of those war torn scary countries

I do appreciate your views and concerns though. It is good to read other peoples ideas and opinions at a time like this. It is good to share what we know and have been through. It is indeed going to be a stressful decision. I am being hopeful right now that he will see some improvement after 5 days of these meds. and all the talk of surgery will be moot! So I am pointing good vibes at that little packet of pills!!!

Oh, on a happier note - Today is our 21st Wedding Anniversary!

Happy Anniversary FC!

Thank You Sky!

Hope everyone has a perfect Saturday!

Have a Happy Anniversary FC! I certainly hope and pray for the best for your son. I would be a freakazoid if it were my son. Going throuh all this myself I totally sympathize. My Dr, wants me to stay on my antibotics in case it it is lyme disease, believe me I would take that over other alternatives. Yesterday I had a chest x-ray and Wed I go to a Hematologist. I am still worried and nervous but hope for the best. Trust me it is horrific and nerve wracking going through this. He did give me something to help me sleep. Last Night was the first time I had slept in a week.

Thanks Aerwin!

I know what you mean, but I am truly trying not to be freaked by it. I was at first, but I am staying optimistic and positive! Right now I have decided to be positive the meds will work!

I am so happy to hear that your Doc is still thinking stay on the meds and that it is not too serious. I know Lyme Disease is very treatable. Hope all is well with the chest x-ray and blood work-up! I think the hard to diagnose things are so frustrating! I guess it was more of a relief with Justin than with Eric because at least right away they knew what it was, where as with Eric we are all just scratching our heads as to why the kid can't get a good night sleep.

That is great the doc gave you something to help you sleep! That is going to make a world of difference for you!

We will all continue to send you good thoughts, vibes, white lights and prayers!

I am very nervous about going to the Hematologist and what he may find. But I hope he can rule out all the bad stuff. You know my Dr. does not know what it is. I need an alien Dr. from outer space I guess.

I have a cousin (through marriage) who is dealing with some issues they cannot quite figure out. They think it is fibromyalgia and have been treating her for it for about 1 year now. She has not been improving so they are thinking about sending her to an out of state special center (sorry, I cannot remember which state - I think Indiana?) that works with difficult to diagnose issues. Maybe some time down the road if you have no good answers you could check into something like that. I am seeing one of my other cousins later today (she is the sister in law) and I will see if she knows the name of the place and I could look up some info on it.

Aerwin wrote:

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I am very nervous about going to the Hematologist and what he may find. But I hope he can rule out all the bad stuff. You know my Dr. does not know what it is. I need an alien Dr. from outer space I guess.

Aerwin, glad to hear you got some rest finally and more tests are going to be done. I did a little medical research at work based on your symptoms and there are tons of different things that it could be. Until all the test results are back to rule out what it isn't, there is no way for your doctor or any doctor for that matter to make a diagnosis. If I am not mistaken, you take meds for other issues...there was a long list of medications that can cause swollen lymph glands. Has your doctor looked into that yet?

FC, it sounds like you will be well prepared to make the best decision for Justin after he completes the meds and then the surgeons are consulted at that time. I know it must be very stressful to not know what lies ahead.
How ironic and frustrating that this happenned right after Justin got his new bass! I would be very upset about that too if I were him.

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If I am not mistaken, you take meds for other issues...there was a long list of medications that can cause swollen lymph glands. Has your doctor looked into that yet?

He knows everything I'm own including all vitamin supplements. I only take Yaz for birth control and Albuterol for asthma attacks. Plus the antibotics I've been on. At least I got sleep last night. He gave me Ambien , that did the trick.

Aerwin, I am glad you got some help with sleep.

Not knowing what is wrong is very scary. Having to wait to know is even scarier.

I think a good old fashioned sob fest can be very helpful when in a not-knowing state where there really is nothing you can do on a practical level to speed it up.

Here is my best advice: Rent a few extreme weeper movies (Terms of Endearment, In America are perfect for this in my book, but whatever gets you going with tears and sobs). If your hubby can handle it, let him know that once you get it going it would be great if he would just hold you and cuddle you and let you cry (i.e. not tell you to shhhh). If hubby can't handle that, tell him to go out for a while, and surround yourself with pillows and tea or hot chocolate or whatever you find comforting in a llittle kid way. And let yourself cry and cry and cry.

I guarantee you that doing this will change some body/brain chemicals around enough so that you really will break the dread. And when the dread builds up, if it does, have another session.

Think of yourself as a kid who needs nurturing, and be really sweet to yourself.


If this is something that you tink might be good, I can't wait to hear of all the ways you came up with to be sweet to yourself.

Hugs and more hugs.

Oh, I don't know about Terms of Endearment Excellent movie but the subject matter could be tough. Maybe something that is good to get the waterworks going, but not that storyline. West Side Story always make me cry. So does E.T. Maybe Ghost or Ordinary People. I am probably not the best at examples since I try to avoid super sad films . I do like films that make you cry happy tears at the end though! I've had some really good crys at wonderful ending! I bet there is a list on-line of the best tearjerkers.

I am all for getting into subject matter that does relate to the fears going on.

Not that that will be right for everybody, but it is the avoidance of the elephant in the middle of one's consciousness that makes things worse in my view.

In any event, I was more tailoring that to Aerwin and the colossal challenge she is going through right now.

I think that's a healthy attitude to take. First watch the stuff that hits home and let it all out.

Then watch stuff that will lift you up and make you laugh so hard you cry.

Both give excellent ways to have catharsis.

Yeah, absolute, GE!

Although I think varying the focus -- sometimes going all the way down so as to not lie, and sometimes finding joyous distractions, is the way to go.

I know I personally tend to go for the distractions.

And I tend to avoid remembering to go for the deep sad/fearful/hurt feelings.

When I remember to do the sad movie thing, if I am stuck, I get unstuck.

SO today, following my own advise, i watched In America again, sobbed my heart out. Sat with that, and then went on to have a lovely and more productive day.

I am not going through anything right now nearly as fear inducing as what Aerwin is going through, but whatever it was that was spinning me around over and over with anxiety (actually to do with my car, and work, and general malaise) ... I broke the spinning with the sob fest. And I feel sane.

I also kept reminding myself to be sweet to myself.

That may sound Stuart Smalley-ish, but as a non inherently sweet person, it does help.

Awww frazz. You're good enough, youre smart enough and garsh darn it, people like you!

Something else I sometimes do? Turn off EVERYTHING. So there's no noise and no distraction of any kindhat .

MAN does that bring up the crap for me and allow me to get it out. At night it's even more effective. I tend to run from the silence because I know that's where the truth lies.

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MAN does that bring up the crap for me and allow me to get it out. At night it's even more effective. I tend to run from the silence because I know that's where the truth lies.

This is very profound GE. I am enjoying this topic immensely. I hope this is helpful to Aerwin during this difficult time.

As much as I love and use music as therapy, silence is nirvana for me and a place where I can center myself again. I know yoga is good for this too.

My friend also finds her peace in the silence. She loves it. Sometimes I"m with her and she wants no music or anything and I start climbing the walls.

OMG. So, we just had a 5.8 earthquake. It was a long one. Big jolt and then a good shaking for way longer than I'm comfortable. They're feeling it in Las Vegas and San Diego.

I'm still shaking.

I just read that at MSNBC! I check that site many times a day for breaking news. They said no reports of damage at this point. Is everything OK by you? How scary

Yeah, it's fine. It's just scary because you don't know how big it's going to get or how long it's going to be. No damage at all and afterward you're OK. It's just the not knowing that makes you crazy.

Oh I can only imagine! Living in the Midwest where you have no idea how bad the tornadoes are going to be or just where they will hit is very scary. At least we can hid in the basement. It must be scarier with earthquakes

Glad all is well!

Scary to read this news. Glad that you are okay GE. Living in the NW, I'm familiar with the scariness of earthquakes, not as many as CA gets, but scary none the less. The last big one we had, my hubby was on the roof! He just straddled the peak and held on. I'm hoping there were no injuries from this recent one.

OMG Sky!!! How awful for him! You too if you were home and knew he was up there! Glad he lived to tell his story.

Oh, I was home and very worried............ He had a great view of everything moving! We can laugh about it now................

I was in the staff kitchen at work with two other people.

I immediately dropped to the floor to get under a table (benn though lots of drills elsewhere). They stayed standing.

It wasn't all that scary where I was. It wasn't a violent shake the way some are. The thing that was weird was that it kept doing a rolling motion for MUCH longer than I remember other ones doing. THe vertical blinds on the windows were still swaying about 60 seconds in.